Who's the cutest girl around?

I am a mom of a cutie pie (very biased). And I wanted to share my experiences with others (including my cuties grandparents, great-grandparents, numerous uncles and other relatives). I love being a mom and can't imagine doing anything else.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Birthday Girl.

Three years ago today, after 26 hours of labor, you entered the world. You were fat (9 lbs 15 ozs) and so unhappy that day. We were over the moon. You brought this new light into our lives, filled a hole we didn't even realize existed. You made each day fun (even the hard ones). In your life you had more hardship than most have in 60 years. And yet there was always joy, you were always sweet and rarely complained. I know had it been me in you place I would have complained but you took it all in stride.



You were (and still are) loved. Overwhelmingly. Your grandparents, great-grandmarmie, uncles, great-uncles, aunts, great (and grande) aunts, cousins, and friends loved you. but mostly you were loved by us...your momma and da. We couldn't miss you more. It hasn't gotten any easier and infact most days feels harder. We miss you smile, your laugh, your smell, you dance parties, your late night awake times, your sign language, your wiggley happy dance, your love of all things sesame street, your sweet hugs, your kisses, falling asleep with you in your bed, your ability to find the smallest crumb and pick it up, your love of seeing new things,all your silly expressing ("not grover, elmo) the way you held my face in your little hands. We long for you so much its a physical ache.


I wish you were here Livi. I love planning birthday parties and you loved opening presents. Wonder what theme we would have had this year?! The first year we did ladybugs, the second the number 2 (not cute, TWO). Last year you were in the hospital and I kept looking forward to this years birthday when we would be home and you would be well. Not the version of Home I was expecting for you.

Happy Birthday sweet girl. We love you.

39 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy birthday Livi! I wish I could hold you and sing to you. You are always on my mind and in my heart. Love Pa

1:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy birthday Livi!!!! My little girlie whirlie!!! You knew how much we loved you.....we will never ever stop. Love, gigi

1:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Being there for your birth is a memory that will always be happy and amazing. You are in my heart and on my mind today & always. Love, Rachel

1:28 PM  
Blogger Holly W. said...

Happy Birthday Sweet Livi! How you have and continue to touch so many lives.

Love and prayers go to your mom and dad. and extended family

respectfully,
Holly Wadding

1:31 PM  
Anonymous Hannah Byers said...

Dear James & Emily,
I have been thinking of you two as I look at sweet Livi on our fridge knowing that today she would have been 3. I have prayed so much for you this week that today you would be able to have joy in all the wonderful memories you had with your daughter & peace that she isn't sick anymore, but that she is celebrating her new life with Jesus! I am sure that Alivia & Jesus are dancing, singing & laughing right now! Your family is on my mind daily! There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you or pray for you to get through another day without Alivia! I can't imagine how hard each day is, but I do know that God loves you both very much & understands your pain & knows the number of tear drops that roll down your face in the loss you have experienced. I don't think I will ever forget your baby girl as long as I live, even though we didn't know her very well. I will always remember the joy she gave you in the twinkle of your eyes as I watched you Emily in church or in the nursing mom's room as you would nurse her, change her diaper or tell us cute stories from the previous week. I would always think that you treasured each moment & that there wasn't a day of being a mother that you didn't enjoy. You loved every minute! That spoke volumes to me as I was a new mom too. Thank you for helping me to live each day as a mommy by loving each moment & thanking God for every second I have. One thing I remember was how you were always showing off her cute little outfits or those adorable little boots that you put Alivia in when she was about 10 months or so. You were an amazing mother to your little girl. It was no accident that you two, James & Emily were chosen to be Alivia's Mommy & Daddy!!! God had a perfect plan for Alivia's short & beautiful life! Jesus LOVES you James & Emily! His love amazes me everyday & no matter how hard I try to wrap my understanding of it I can't! He gives & He takes away, but out of love for us! I am praying for you all day & everyday!

I wanted to share with you a man named Robert Rogers who has changed my life through his testimony that maybe could encourage you & help you two. His website is www.mightyintheland.com I heard his story 4 years ago on Focus on the Family on the radio & since then I have read his book, have his CD's & watched his DVD that he made. We are so excited to meet him for the first time in April at a church to hear him speak. He is a man who can understand your loss because he lost all of his 4 children & his dear wife in a flash flood 4 1/2 years ago. God changed his life in just a few seconds & now he goes around sharing his story to help others to live their lives without regrets & to live today as if it were your last! I hope that you can find some encouragement through his story.

You both are very loved! May you both experience the Saviour's love for you today!

Love,
Hannah, Scott, Tirzah & Naomi Byers

1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday sweet livi! I miss you though I never got to know you the way I wish I would have. I love you soo much and can't wait for the day i can see your sweet little face!:):)

~Moriah

Emily and James,
I am praying for you guys today....can't imagine how hard it is....I don't know excatly what to say since my words won't heal the pain. Tears strolled down my eyes as I read the pain you guys feel. Keep trusting Him.

love ya,
Moriah

2:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember having your birthday in the hospital last year, Livi. Momma decorated your door and window and mirror and all of the nurses made a big sign for you and all day we would say "how old are you today Livi?" and you would hold up two pudgy adorable fingers and say "tyoo!" and we would say "oh Livi, you're so cute!" and you would say "no! Tyoo!!" and I think I fell more in love you every time. You were and are so very loved little one. I bet you're having a great big party today with Jackson and Isabel and Katie Mae and all your friends up in Heaven. I miss you so much. Love forver, Cay-rol

2:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Livi!!You touched everyone's life that you knew!! We all miss you very very much!!

Eboni

2:27 PM  
Anonymous tina said...

happy birthday beautiful...we miss you! i remember when you were born Livi, you were extra cute for sure. lifting you up today james & emily. much love

2:50 PM  
Blogger Briana Almengor said...

I wish she were here, too. Love you all. Praying for you.

2:57 PM  
OpenID dlbmrb said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Livi!!!

Emily and James,
As I was reading this a lot of feelings came rushing back to me. You are correct Emily when you say it is a physical pain. Grief this severe is physically painful. Not having our child here on their birthdays is so very hard. I am praying you can have peace today. Just know that all that you are feeling is very normal. It is a long hard road BUT God will never leave you on this road alone. Please trust me in that. Even at times I wanted to be left alone He still was there waiting patiently for me to turn and embrace Him again. My heart breaks for you both and there really are no words to say that will take the pain away. I pray you will find some comfort in the fact that Livi touched so many lives and she will never be forgotten...
Love
Donna Bishop

3:30 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Emily,

I am so sorry that you are celebrating Livi's life without her today. I can't look at a picture of her without both smiling and crying. You, Livi and James have changed the way I view my world. I don't want to take any day for granted. Praying for peace in your hearts, and many happy memories on this day.

Much love,
Amy

3:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy 3rd Birthday, Alivia!:) I can't believe it was a year ago that I read your mom's blogs daily and laughed for all of you and cried for all of you and prayed for you harder than you could ever imagine. There are days that I get so frustrated because it just doesn't feel like God answered my prayers, but I just keep plugging along trying to have the faith that He did answer them..just in a different way than I expected Him to do so. I am so glad I got to be part of your life from afar for a brief period of time and I know I will one day meet you in heaven.

Love,

Cousin Caroline

3:45 PM  
Blogger Kara Stoltzfus said...

i have been thinking of you so much in the last week, realizing that sweet livi's birthday was approaching. i am so sorry for your ache, your pain, your grief and your tremendous loss. i can only continue to pray that god strengthens you, helps you & heals your hearts with his unfailing love.

we remember livi with you and wish her the happiest of birthdays.

4:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Little Livi!
Love Always, Andrew

7:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, Livi. Been thinking about you all day and remembering the excitement when you were born. You were the most wonderful gift to our family and we will always treasure our memories of the sweetest little girl anyone could ever want. Your Marmie loves you forever.

8:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Livi Lou,
Not a day goes by that we don't think of you. We keep pictures of you in our car, at work and all over our house. Always with us. How fortunate we all are to have had and to have you with us. Today we hold you in our hearts and prayers and we celebrate your life. What a difference you made in all of ours.
Happy Birthday Livi Lou, WE Love You.
Gup, Ree Ree, Sarah and Mike, Becca and Tim

8:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Livi Loo!! Last year at this time seems like just yesterday and years ago all at the same time. I loved watching you open all of your presents for weeks! You were so excited and took every opportunity to tell everyone how old you were! You loved how Momma and Pa decorated your room and you even had some yummy cake! Every single second of those memories has been making me smile and each and every one makes me miss you that much more. You are so very loved, little one. So loved and so dearly missed. I will remember every moment and love you forever...
love, Manda Blue

9:13 PM  
Blogger Jude & Kate's Mom said...

I've been thinking of you all day today, Emily! I had no idea Livi was that big when she was born! WOW! She's such an awesome, beautiful little girl...so glad for the brief moments I got to have with her. Happy Birthday, Princess Livi! You are SOOOO loved.

Hugs to you James & Em,
Julie

9:14 PM  
Blogger kingfamily said...

Happy Birthday Livi,
So happy for all the sweet memories you have!. Praying for all of you.
Brandi & Family

10:26 AM  
Blogger momofcolin_chloe said...

Happy 3rd Birthday, Alivia!

11:25 AM  
Anonymous Phyllis said...

Emily-James,I think of you so often and want you to know that you and your wonderful family remain in prayer.

12:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy 3rd birthday Alivia!
Emily and James, praying, praying, praying as it's all we can do, but God is faithful.
Sue F.

1:19 PM  
Blogger Bre said...

Happy Birthday Alivia, thank you for touching my heart.

4:27 PM  
Blogger .:becca:. said...

Happy Birthday sweet Livi! I'm sure
you are having so much fun celebrating in heaven. We miss you dearly sweet girl! I continue to pray for you and for your aching heart may God give you a comfort and peace that surpasses all understanding!

-Becca

7:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Believing Livi had the grandest dance party ever this March 20th. You and your families continue to be held in prayer.

Love fondly,
The Carroll Family

12:50 PM  
Blogger Vicki said...

Happy Birthday Livi! Oh how you are missed.

Emily and James I am praying for you and your families.

I am rejoicing with you in Livi's life and grieving with you in your great loss.

1:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, sweet Livi!
I hope you can look down from heaven and see all the lives you have touched. They are the candles that light up your cake.

Mary Ann K.

3:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Em...I can't even imagine! I'm speechless...and crying...

Just know that my prayer for you and your family is for God to bring into your lives whatever may help ease even an ounce of the pain you feel! Then again, you have an amazing family so maybe he has already done that!

Shannon

7:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Alivia! I'm sure you are having quite a celebration in heaven with all your friends and family. Even though I never knew you or your parents I think of you often and keep them in my prayers.
Sheila

9:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I knew it was around now. Thought I'd check the blog...I used to check it almost every day for such a long time. Back then, didn't think it would turn out quite the way it did. I remember the last time I saw Alivia, at the Haughery's. You both brought her by to see Gwen and me and I so appreciated you spending some of only a few precious moments she had left with us. I remember you playing with her and how she laughed! Throwing her backwards on the couch. I was a little worried she would hit her head on something...I remember how she posed for pictures, smiling and holding her position until the camera clicked. Was she only 1 then? What an amazing child. Love you guys, James and Emily, and thinking of you at this time, Aunt Cheryl

9:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Livi!
Em and James... not a day goes by that I don't look at her picture on my desk and think of how her death has changed my view on life forever. She is truly an angel among angels. You are all in my heart and prayers....
-Steph C

7:48 AM  
Blogger Vicki said...

Still praying for you and James and always thinking of your precious angel!
Vicki Moore

9:40 AM  
Blogger Parmer Clan said...

Brooklyn sent a balloon up to Livi the other day... I guess it was her Birthday present. She thought it would make Livi and Jesus happy because it was purple. I cried as we watched it "go up to heaven". Happy Birthday, little angel.
The Parmer Family

8:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wept when I read your blog, I havn't read for so long. I feel pain for you and cannot even insinutate that I can imagine what
you are going through. Even as a person of faith it is so hard for me to understand how something like this could happen. You are strong Emily, and you inspire me. You inspire so many people. We have learned your heart, and that God gave Alivia to the best possible mother. I don't know you personaly but I can tell that that little girl had more love in her too short life than most people ever have. Maybe God put Alivia here so that she could touch so many people. It didn't take her long to do that. Rent the movie "pay it foreward" there is so much sadness, but in the end you see how many lives were touched by someone so selfless. May our Lord give you some comfort Emily. May you be able to rest when you lay your head down, may God fill your heart and mind with sweet and reassuring words. Know that you are truly amazing. I never forget you or Alivia when I look at my fourteen year old"baby", I cherish every moment that God gives me with her, and never take it for granted

9:46 AM  
Blogger Rachael said...

i'm so sorry for you guys : (

i hope u had a good day of remembering livi : )

prayin

1:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

just dropping by live to see your face...i do several times a day. you are my ladybug. love you forever and always, gigi

2:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

just stopping to say hi to my ladybug. saw one in my window yesterday...just like your momma did...showed her to pa..we never stop thinking about you and talking to you. love you bug. your gigi forever.

9:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Livi! I see Lady Bugs and Sesame Street products all the time and it always brings me back to thoughts of you and your parents, grand parents and extended family. You are so loved, Little One. You touched so many of our lives and will NEVER be forgotten. Love to all, Betsie

6:47 AM  

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