Who's the cutest girl around?

I am a mom of a cutie pie (very biased). And I wanted to share my experiences with others (including my cuties grandparents, great-grandparents, numerous uncles and other relatives). I love being a mom and can't imagine doing anything else.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

6 Months


Six months ago today Alivia died. Not a second has gone by that my heart hasn't ached or that my arms haven't felt empty. I miss her so terribly.

I love you my sweet ladybug.

41 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i can't imagine your pain. Only Jesus knows. Praying for you. -Sue F.

2:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Me too. Pa

3:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i had just been imagining this afternoon what she felt like to hold in my arms..........so i went to visit getty hts. park and remembered when you had taken her there with us.........gigi

3:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I miss you Little Livi...Uncle Andrew

4:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what a sweet picture....how i miss that adorable face....praying that God will help you get through the next six months.

~Moriah~

4:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I miss seeing pictures of her adorale face! I miss her even though I never really knew her.....I can't imagine your pain. I'm praying for you!
-becca

6:34 PM  
Blogger Parmer Clan said...

Was happy to see you from afar at church. Silly....I post often, but wouldn't have a clue what to say to you in person. I hope you can forgive us who so want to reach out to you, but feel like our words are inadequate. Praying for you as always.

7:11 PM  
Blogger Briana Almengor said...

nothing has brought me to tears more quickly in the past 6 months than the thought of your overwhelming sadness at the loss of your precious baby girl. My heart aches for you, friend and you are never far from my thoughts and prayers...love you much!

8:00 PM  
Anonymous Beth Young said...

What a precious baby girl. I pray for you often. I'm sure you hear that a lot, but I h truly do.

8:44 PM  
Blogger calvetti.fam said...

We are still praying for you!
Rochelle

9:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Somedays I still can't believe it. Missing you.
Erin W

12:13 AM  
Blogger The Laughing Gulls said...

I can't imagine the pain you and your loved ones are feeling...I am always praying for you.
I cam across this poem a few weeks ago in a catalog and it made me think of you...

HANG IT ON THE CROSS

If you have a secret sorrow,
A burden or a loss,
An aching need for healing...
Hang it on the cross.

If worry steals your sleep,
And makes you turn and toss
If your heart is feeling heavy...
Hang it on the cross

Every obstacle to faith,
Or doubt you come across,
Every prayer unanswered.....
Hang it on the cross

For Christ has borne our brokenness
And dearly paid the cost
To turn our trials to triumph...
Hanging on the cross.

Anonymous

12:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a beautiful photograph...my heart is breaking for you and James (and the whole gang up there)...that is all I can think to say other than that I just keep looking forward to the day when God will give you a feeling of renewal and restoration from this pain.

Love,

Caroline

6:33 AM  
Blogger Vicki said...

Emily,
I can't even begin to understand your grief but my heart aches for what I can imagine you are feeling. I still think about and pray for you and James, everyday. I never met the three of you, but you all have been deeply rooted in my heart. I miss Livi and I didn't know her other than through your blog. Though it won't take away a single bit of your grief, please know there are so many people praying for you and James and holding you in our hearts. I still check the blog everyday and have been so worried about you through the holidays.
Sending you many warm hugs and thoughts.
Vicki Moore

8:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what a sweet picture - she certainly is a cutie.
thinking of your whole family & praying for you often

Sheila from Pittsburgh

9:09 AM  
Blogger Kara Stoltzfus said...

i continue to think of you and your family so often. your loss is so large, so deep, so great. i continue to pray that god comforts you, draws near, strengthens you and brings you a deep deep steadfast peace that passes all understanding.

9:42 AM  
Anonymous grande qunt lisa said...

Look at those eyes. Makes me melt. Stomach clenches. Tears well. Sniffle. Miss you, Livi.

Love and miss you guys. I wanna come visit. When?

Livi's GAL

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Emily,
I cry everytime I read your blog...even when you haven't posted anything new, i re-read the old posts and bawl. It must be hard for you to even breath. I continue to pray that God gives you and James the strength to breath, to gather the pieces, to heal. I am hear anytime you need a friend to listen...anytime you feel like you can't breath. I love you. Leslie M.

10:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Avoided a river of tears ,someheow, yesterday, but today is a meltdown day. Miss our little Livilamb so much, It hurts!!!!Added to your pain and whole family's pain is nearly unbearable. Where is the comfort we so need? It eludes me. Forgive me, Emily, for not being stronger for you. Loving you is all I can offer, for you and James, Gigi and Pa, and all the rest of our dear ones. Marmie

12:24 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

My heart aches for you as I look at the picture of the sweetest little face ever. I know the sense of loss that I feel for you is such a tiny piece of what you carry daily. Praying for comfort for your empty arms--and lots of sweet memories.

Love you,
Amy F.

7:42 PM  
Blogger Lori said...

I don't have the words...I start typing my "comment", then hit the backspace key. I don't know how this will help, but just wanted you to know that I... remembered Alivia at Christmas time and shed tears for you and James...came to your blog site the other day to see a picture of Alivia...pray for you and James often. -Lori Randolph

10:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reading all your comments and feeling oh so sad for you Emily and James, Gigi, Pa, Marmie and all the hearts that are breaking this day and everyday for Livi. The picture of Livi is just beautiful. I am praying for you all!! Betsie

12:11 AM  
Blogger momofcolin_chloe said...

I know I have no words that would be of comfort. I'll just keep praying.

Christi

8:15 AM  
Anonymous jsw said...

Cute little Livi. I work at an apartment complex in the Penn State area. Last September, one of our tenants was killed in an auto accident. She was a wonderful young woman who was working on an advanced degree in early-childhood education. I think she and Livi are having a grand time together.

1:07 PM  
Blogger linda anne said...

still the cutest girl around hands down. adam has never taken his bracelet off so i am reminded of her so often... and you. i really cant believe its been that long-it will never seem like time has passed to me. sometimes it doesnt seem real at all. =( cant wait to join her tho.

2:31 PM  
Anonymous Phyllis said...

Thinking of you -- often...

9:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so sorry that you and your family have to go through this. I am praying for you!

11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Her blue eyes and blond hair... how beautiful, sweet and innocent.

I prayed for you all on Sunday as I knew it had been 6 mos. since you held your precious lady bug.

Please know you are not alone and there is an army of people praying for you.

Praying for your daily, still wearing my bracelet.

Vicki Gold

8:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Six months ago today Alivia died." Reading those words was like a punch in the stomach. Six short months...six long months...it's really both. And still hard to get my mind around. It will take God Himself to comfort you in this ocean of grief.
In John 14 Jesus said:
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."
I read this and let my imagination run wild on what it is like for Livi now to be in her “place”:
Hi Jesus! I just put another sticker on the wall in my place. Do You like it? I just love my place, Jesus. It is so pretty! What are You doing? Oh, You’re preparing a new place! Can You prepare a place for Momma and Daddy right next to mine? You can! And can I help You, Jesus? I can! Jesus, You know the talent that you gave Daddy to built things? Well, I’m my Daddy’s girl and I have that talent, too! What is that, Jesus? Oh, you have a little tool belt just for me! It just fits and look at all those tools! With my talent and all these tools, we can build a really nice place, Jesus! And, Jesus, can I help decorate it? I can! You know the talent that you gave Momma to make things look nice? Well, I’m my Momma’s girl and I have that talent, too! Now, where’s those color swatches? Oh, there they are. Yes, Jesus, THAT’S Momma’s favorite color! Let’s make the place that color. Oh, and, Jesus, let’s put flowers in her place that smell like…like…cookies! Why are you laughing, Jesus? Oh! Well, You can make a NEW flower that smells like cookies, can’t You? You will? Oh, that is PERFECT, Jesus! And then we have to build other places for De-dad, Nan, Pa, Gigi…and…and…EVERYBODY! And, Jesus, I want a lot of doors in my place to I can open them to visit everybody in their places and so that they can visit ME! I think I will need about sixty-hundred-twenty-two zillion of them. Why are You laughing, Jesus? Oh! Well, whatever the biggest number is that is how many I need! OK, Jesus, take my hand and I’ll show you where to start…

Still Praying!

Mary Ann K.

12:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Emily-
i like this precious picture.
i know that i can't feel the depth of your sorrow- but since i have become a mom i am daily learning what it means to have a little girl & i often think of you & livi & the special relationship that you guys had & pray for you as you continue to feel the pain of her absense. hope we can hang out soon.
-Ang

12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So sorry for your pain. HUGS!

5:58 PM  
Blogger bexx said...

Hello Friends!

I am contacting you because I am boosting the regulations for the Friends site a bit. I apologize for having to bother you with this when so many of you are facing difficult times. The reason I am doing this is two fold: (1) to protect your sites and (2) to protect the Friends site. It is my hope that one day we can become a legitimate foundation, but in order to do this I need written permission from each of you.

To do this, all I need is for you to provide the following information. Simply fill out the info below and email it back to me. By doing this, we will keep your site on our list of Friends so others can continue to pray for you. If you want you site removed, you can either do so by writing back to me or by simply not responding to this request. the deadline for responding is April 8, 2008 (though the sooner the better). Thank you and here is the request:



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Thank you, from Asher and Jacob's Friends. www.asherandjacobsfriends.com

12:38 AM  
Blogger Jude's Mom said...

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you, Emily. I can't begin to imagine your pain.

Love,
Julie

10:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Emily-

I had been on the You Tube site that was created by Tom Bueche one day and came across another blog of a couple who had lost their little girl also. They had added this song and as I listened to it it made me think of you guys and Alivia. I added the lyrics here in hopes that they would encourage your heart. Also, I have been thinking alot lately about how often people will say things about peoples lives being cut short like " gone too soon". The truth is each one of our days are numbered by the Lord himself and his timing is ALWAYS perfect even if it doesn't feel like it to us. Please know that you are on our hearts and your sorrow is known by the one who knew sorrow intimately.

WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby…baby..
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…
Until we’re home with you…

Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a
day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
‘till mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little babies, it’s hard to
understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…

BRIDGE:
I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies
and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…

3:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like so many people have said, I can't imagine your pain. We continue to pray daily for you guys.
Thanks for the picture. So beutiful.
love,
Viv

8:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She is beautiful--those eyes!! It doesn't seem right you can't hold her. Jesus hold Alivia, just like her mom and dad would. We will keep praying for you and the rest of your family. Love, The Lapps

10:08 PM  
Blogger Bozics said...

You don't know me and you may never know me. But I am touched by your openness even in your grief. You are always in my prayers-Livi was a lucky little girl to know so much love in such a short amount of time.

5:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still read this blog. I just wanted you to know that you cross my mind so often and I just pray. I can't imagine. I, personally, still can't believe that Alivia went to be with Jesus, and I only met her once. With love, Janet S. from Indiana, PA

10:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Emily,
Every day my heart is full for you. Know you make me a better mom.

Anne

7:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for you tonight. Maybe it was the snow we got today. (1/17/) Just wanted to let you know God laid you on my heart. -Sue F.

11:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

always close to our thoughts-mary and steve m.

11:35 PM  

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