I am a mom of a cutie pie (very biased). And I wanted to share my experiences with others (including my cuties grandparents, great-grandparents, numerous uncles and other relatives). I love being a mom and can't imagine doing anything else.One Year
At 2:43 today it will be one year since I held my little baby, since she took her last breath and left this world forever. Not a second has gone by that we haven't missed her, loved her and wished she was still with us. I know heaven is a wonderful place and I know she feels no pain I just wish we could have had more time. I miss being her mom more than anything. I miss the day in and day out activities. I miss waking up in the middle of the night to her cry and know that I would get to see her sweet face and rock her back to sleep. We are still undone.
posted by Alivia's Momma @ 1:49 PM
30 Comments:
Emily, I've been thinking and praying for you all day.
I think about you ALL the time. You are always in my prayers. I know this is difficult and doesn't get any easier as each day passes; I can imagine that it gets harder. She really is precious.
I am praying extra hard for you and your family today.
((hugs))
Neysa
Dearest Emily & James,
What a very difficult day, not that they all aren't. We wanted you to know our thoughts and prayers are with you today and everyday. What a whole Livi's loss has left in our family. We love you & are amazed by your strength and courage.
Love,
Ree Ree,Gup, Becca, Tim & Sarah & Mike
Emily and James,
Our thoughts are with you both today. We have been heartbroken this year. I hope you can find some comfort knowing that we are thinking of you and your girl today. There's an empty spot in our family now. We remember her.
Love, Aunt Cheryl and Uncle Paul
I wish she was will you still too.
love, erin w
Dear James & Emily,
We have prayed for you every day this entire year as a family. It was hard for me to sleep last night thinking of you both as you missed your girl. I had tears in my eyes all day as I prayed for you through out the day! Tirzah & I sat together in church & prayed together & she was so sad to know how much you both miss your little girl, but she was happy to know that Jesus would take care of her! We have a whole section just of Alivia & you two so we can see your sweet faces & never forget how precious your Alivia was! The girls are always talking about Alivia day to day as they pull the pictures off the fridge to talk to her & carry it around as they play. How much they can understand just at 4 & 2! Tirzah always tells me that Alivia must be having fun because she gets to play with Jacob Ovalle all the time in Heaven. My heart aches for the both of you as you still face each day without Alivia in your arms. I praise God that the two of you have placed your faith in Jesus, because HE is the only one who will carry you through every second of every day & He can heal your hearts in time! I still can't understand His ways for our lives, but I can see how through Alivia's short little life she blessed, touched & changed so many lives around the world. Even strangers! What an amazing testimony she has! God loves you James & Emily so much! Through trials we learn to draw closer to Him & I am sure you have in the last year. True joy can only be found in Christ! We will never stop praying for your dear family nor will we forget your Alivia. I can always describe her in one way joyful & always smiling just like you Emily! Keep smiling because your smile shines & radiates Christ, plus it's so contagious! God bless you both.
Love,
Hannah, Scott, Tirzah, Naomi & baby #3 Byers
Hi Emily, I'm Nora Shank's friend and I wanted to tell you that I check your blog everyday and I think about you all the time. I hope that with the love & support of your friends & family you're able to get through the 1-year anniversary of your little girl's passing. With love from Canada...
One way Alivia's short life has served a purpose is to remind us all that our lives here on this earth are but a vapor. When I think of all the nights I dreaded the sleep that I would lose being awakened by a small child (especially my first-born who was very colicky and wanted to sleep with me all the time), I can't help but wish I had looked forward to those fleeting nights of precious quiet time with my children a little more. Of course, sleep deprivation can make anyone a bit batty, but what I am trying to say is that even the exhausting, crazy moments in this life are to be cherished and when we are reminded that we don't have forever in this life and world that is passing away, it is easier to enjoy and appreciate each moment. People like your little Alivia give us the gift of that realization.
Love,
Caroline, Joey, Piper, Maren, and Keaton
was thinking of you yesterday,
all weekend...all week,
i love you, beth
Still praying...every day.
~laura c.
Emily,
I am sure all of the days are difficult, but this one more so because everything comes back to you like it was yesterday. It was really weird because I was thinking of you (of course) and I just so happened to look at the clock and it was the time that Alivia left you guys. It made me think of when I got the news from Steph because I was on vacation and my whole reaction to your loss. I didn't even know Livi that well, but just being friends with you made it so difficult for me. I think of you often and read this everyday along with the other site. Love you!
Heather L.
praying....
~Krista Herr~
Dear Emily,
I want to write, but there just are no words...
What I have been thinking about mostly is the days and days that you spent at the hospital with Livi. What was supposed to be a six week stay that turned into 100+ days. As tired and wounded as you were, you fought fiercely for your daughter. And, pardon my presumption, I think you would do it a hundred times over if it meant that you could have five more minutes with your precious Livi.
That battle is over, but not the war...as you said, you are still undone. As the godly woman that you are, you have faced every day this past year...every birthday...every holiday...EVERY day...with courage and faith that few posses.
Oh, Emily! Many, many prayers, along with tears, are being laid at the foot of the throne for you. I just ask our faithful God to flood your heart with His grace, mercy and healing. I pray that the peace that is beyond our understanding, that only He can give, is given lavishly to you today and in the days ahead.
Remembering Livi and still praying for you and your family.
Mary Ann K.
Emily & James
I know that yesterday was very hard for you both. The anniversaries and birthdays are so very difficult. Well each day is difficult. Be gentle with yourselves. Know that God is good and you can trust Him.
Emily and James,
Such a sad day, today, remembering, never really forgetting.You are both heroes in my book. To all those who have loved and "lost" and then keep going...heroes of our Faith!
God bless you,
Aunt Marcy
Oh my - what a picture - you and James shine through in her face.
We are still holding you up in our prayers - thought of you all throughout the day. Take care of each other.
Fondly,
Anne and Andy
Still thinking of you and praying for you. Though I never knew Alivia she touched my heart.
The love that the 3 of you shared will never fade. I can't imagine how difficult this all must be - May God Bless you and James.
Bre
Dear Heavenly Father,
Please help Baby Livi's Mommy and Daddy to not be so sad, because they miss her so much.
Amen
Parmer Children
You have been heavy on my heart for the last year, last month, last few days...
I remember something you said a while ago... Livi never knew loneliness. She never went a day without knowing she was loved by all around her. She felt safe and secure in your arms... until she ran home into the arms of Jesus.
It breaks my heart how little the time was you had with her, but for the time she was here, she lived a very special life feeling completely loved.
Praying for you.
Vicki G.
Thinking of you often, sending our love.
Kristin and Jed
Wow I can't believe it's already been a year! I can't imagine how hard this anniversary is for you! I think about and pray for you often! ((hugs))
Emily,
You and James have been in my thoughts so often through the last year. Please know that I am still saying prayers for you. My heart aches for the pain that you have been through and the emptiness that you have. The prayers for you will not stop.
Jessica (Bennett) Denney
Emily & James,
I think of you often. I remember when I met Alivia of how much she reminded me of one of her uncles when he was a baby. What a sweetie! :)
Terri
Thinking over and over again That eighty plus years of living did not prepare me for the magnitude of grief over the loss of Livi. She was loved so much by wonderful parents, grandparents and the rest of us who cherished her even though we didn't get to be with her nearly enough.. I can only guess that it will remain a mystery forever on this earth. Marmie
Em,
I've been here to your blog a few times since Sunday and can't find the words I would want to say. I think of you ALL the time. We were in the ER with Jude this past Saturday night and as I held my limp little boy I cried and felt so heavy in my heart for YOU...for the months you held a sick Livi and for that last time she was in your arms. Grievous! I can't even begin to imagine the void in your life. I truly can't wrap my head around it. I don't think I could handle it.
I continue to pray for you. Trusting God is bringing you a portion of His comfort.
Love,
Julie
Dear James and Emily-
Please know you are on God's heart during this time, I know because he has faithfully reminded me to pray for you...through what other means but.......ladybugs..it seems there are so many times I've turned lately and there was...a lady bug. I was reading a sermon this morning written by Charles Spurgeon. In it he was talking about how the most feeble of saints are worth as much to God as the great ones and I thought of Alivia. Some parts of the sermon stood out specifically in regards to her..
" The tiniest child of God could not have been purchased with less of Jesus' precious blood and the greatest child of God did not cost him more.."
"The salvation of great saints often depends upon the salvation of little ones."
To know that even in midst of your great pain and sorrow that God was using Alivia to sanctify you reminds me of how Mary must have felt seeing her son die on the cross...her mother's heart probably wanted so much to save Him, but his death was necessary for her to be saved. Alivia's life was not in vain and because of Christ's sacrifice death has lost it's sting because we know you will see Alivia again.
Emily,
CB and I have been thinking about you and James and praying for you much over the past year but especially this past week and Sunday.
Shannon Eder
my heart brakes emily....it brings me to tears to think of all the pain you have experienced....always remember that you are still her momma......though i know you just want her with you....i am still praying for you guys. miss you sweet livi
lots of love,
moriah
I am sending you a big teary-eyed hug as I think of you and your beautiful little girl. You are a wonderful Mommy and she is indeed a wonderful baby girl. It is never easy to overcome loss, especially of this size. I often think of how God must have felt when he gave his own son for our sakes. This is where faith is refined. My blessings to you. -J.
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