Who's the cutest girl around?

I am a mom of a cutie pie (very biased). And I wanted to share my experiences with others (including my cuties grandparents, great-grandparents, numerous uncles and other relatives). I love being a mom and can't imagine doing anything else.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008


It has been 10 months since anyone called me Mama. 10 months since I held your sweet hand. 10 months since I sang to you. 10 long long months. Sometimes I still think I'll wake up and you'll be here. I wish you were here little girl. I'm glad you aren't hurting anymore but I still long for you every single day. I can't wait till the day we are together again. Till the day I can scoop you up and hold you close. Your pictures are everywhere but they are so pale in comparison to how sweet and cute you were in life. You made every day a joy from the second I knew I was pregnant with you to the moment you took your last breath. I am holding you in my heart and in my dreams. Love you.

We are walking in Livi's honor at Relay for Life. Don't forget to go click here and sponsor us so we can help keep other families from suffering like we have. When you do go to sponsor our team please select a specific team member (even if it is someone you don't know) because each team member is responsible for raising $100. Help us reach our goal.

Also, if you haven't registerd to be a bone marrow donor now is your big chance. Over the next 2 weeks the registration fee is being covered in honor of Mom's everywhere. What a great mother's day present that would be. Just click here and register to possible save someone's life.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

See Please Here

4:31 PM  
Blogger Ang Stoltzfus said...

beautiful picture. i know that my "missing her" pales in comparision to yours, but know that i do. wish addie could meet her. they would be so silly together.

6:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh what a great picture..but then all pics of her are great. two broken hearts for you guys here in indiana, love mom
p.s. i am so glad to see her and read from you on the blog...still stop by each every day (several times a day...) dad just sent out money to the relay we are doing in indiana, and bought luminaria for livi...will get busy on yours also!
we would do anything for livi, thank you for asking us to do these things...

8:43 AM  
Anonymous grande aunt lisa said...

I just got back from my dentist's. They noticed my tattoo and got an earful about our Livibug. She was the bravest lil girl with the best, most loving parents in the world. They said how unfair. Many hearts and lives still devastated for missing her. I'm crying with you again today. It sucks, big time.

Love, Livi's GAL

8:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I miss sending Livi stickers and things that would make her smile. It's taken me a lot of time and thought to do so, but I finally got the courage to send in for a kit to be a bone marrow donor - for Livi, Dale, Joe, and Amy.

Joanna Ayres

10:50 AM  
Blogger dlandisfam said...

Alivia is the cutest little thing.
What a great picture. Still think about you guys a lot. Jeremy made it
to Alaska. He called this morning
around 1:00 (9:00pm last night Alaskan time). He was at his motel.
Just thought I'd let you know.


11:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My husband and I are proud marrow donors all BECAUSE of Alivia's drive!! Praying, praying, praying!! -Sue F.

8:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sweet livi...thank you for posting a picture of her.....and thank you for sharing your feelings....i can't imagine your pain......i will continue to pray for you emily.


9:43 PM  
Blogger Ash said...

Hi Emily,
You have no idea who I am, but I have been reading your blog for about six months now. Just wanted you to know that you have changed the way I parent. Thank you. Also wanted you to know that I followed the link on your blog and regsitered to become a bone marrow donor; it's linked on my site right now too, so hopefully more folks can be reached. You and your entire family are in my prayers. take care.

11:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i've been thinking of you as mothers day approaches and knowing that although you miss livi every single day of your life, this day is sure to bring about memories & feelings. please know you are in my thoughts & prayers and our family continues to lift you before the lord and pray for peace, strength and joy, even in the midst of sorrow.
thanks for sharing so much of your experience with all of us, you are an encouragement to may and honor livi by all you do.

9:46 AM  
Anonymous becca said...

What a beautiful picture of sweet little Livi! I can't imagine the pain and heartache that you've been going through these past 10months...but I hope it's comforting to know that so many people still keep you in their thoughts and prayers. I will never forget Livi she has truly touched my life (and many others) for ever! How could such a little girl who only lived a short while touch so many lives? She truly was a special person. Sending prayers and well wishes your way!!! May you find your strength and joy in the Lord!

10:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for you this mother's day. - Sue F.

7:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A couple of nights ago as we said our nightly prayers including Livi in heaven, Helena - now 2 and a half -looked up and asked, "Is Livi with her mommy?" "Not yet," I said. "Is she with her daddy?" "Nope - not yet. She is in heaven." Helena said, " She is with Jesus?" "Yes, she is, honey." Then wiser than most adults, Helena said, "Mommy, Livi is happy with Jesus." I felt broken and filled at the same time, Emily, at this spoken truth.

Wishing you a Mother's Day with a whisper of grace and peace. You, James and Livi are prayed for daily.

Anne and Andy (Helena too)

1:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am friend of Nora Shank's and I read your blog every week and think of you all the time, especially today being Mother's Day. God Bless.

9:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for you Emily on this painful Mother's Day.

Vicki G.

10:43 PM  
Anonymous Hannah Byers said...

Dearest Emily,
I thought of you ALL day yesterday as it was Mother's Day. I spent the day praying & crying for you as I am sure the day overwhelmed you with joy of dear memories of Livi & the heart breaking emotions of not having your little girl in your arms. No matter how much time goes by your Livi will always be in your heart & your mind! You will ALWAYS be a mother & a wonderful mother you were to Alivia! So I hope that you will always know that Alivia had the BEST mommy God could have given her! Your family will always be in my heart forever & as I look at the sweet pictures of Alivia on my fridge so many times a day I am always thinking & praying for you & James.

You are so loved Emily! Keep trusting & loving Jesus as He wraps you in His arms & wipes every tear away from your dear face. He loves you!!

Hannah Byers

12:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a sweet picture. I come back here often to check and re-read. I thought about Livi and all the little angels in heaven yesterday, and prayed for all the mommies that miss them so.

Sheila from Pittsburgh

4:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Emily, I thought about you on Sunday, Mother's Day when all three of my children were with John and I. You are the best mother I know and I'm so sorry you had to spend the day without Livi. We had a Relay for Life here and I wasn't thinking, instead of donating here I could have sent to you, sorry, but it was for Livi just the same. You and James are so often in my thoughts.
Love you,
Aunt Marcy

6:22 PM  
Blogger Vicki said...

What a beautiful picture of your precious girl!!! My heart breaks looking at it. I still check your blog every single day and you and James are in our prayers every night!!! I read the comments and think how amazing it is that one special little girl touched and changed so many lives. New bone marrow donors - people who have made changes to the way they parent because of Livi and you. How amazing!!!
You remain in my heart,

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thinking of you all still, Emily and James. I don't know where the time has gone because I started reading this blog nearly two years ago.

For some reason, I am thinking right now of the bookmark (with my oldest daughter's pictures on it) and the stickers and the picture of Piper with the stuffed pig on her head that I sent a long time back for Alivia (along with the thank you notes for the nurses) and it just seems like eons ago and like yesterday at the same time that I mailed all of that to you.

Where does the time go? I suppose it is good in a way that time flies because it just feel like that much sooner that you will get to see Livi again. I hope Alivia enjoyed the pictures when she got them. My Piper loves young children more than any 10-year-old girl I have ever seen and she is my first born girl just like Alivia is your first born girl. Piper was so sad for all of you when Alivia died.

It makes me smile thinking of the years I spent with Alivia's great-great Grandma Marie and Piper's great-great Grandpa Ben in South Florida. Marie and Ben lived together in their later years after their spouses passed away and mom and I used to go visit them (we lived an hour from them in Miami).

I hope things are getting a bit easier for you. I never stop thinking about you and James. I was even thinking the other day about our trip to the beach house in North Carolina this coming June and how I wish I could go back in a time machine to last year when we went there and Alivia was here on earth. I never met her and still miss her, but I have faith that she is in a better place.


Caroline, Joey, Piper, Maren, and Keaton

7:23 PM  
Blogger DianaPaisley419 said...

Dear Emily and James,
I know you get a lot of comments that start like this, but you dont know who I am and I have never met you. I went to IUP in the years 2004-2007 and met your family through my dear friend Beth and Ian's blog. Through the years I have checked up on your family, prayed for Livi and was so sad for you when she left to be in Heaven. Even though I have read this blog for years, I have never commented until now. I dont know why and I wish I had encouraging things to say throughout your journey.
Today I had a slow day at work and I checked your blog for updates as I usually do. There were no recent ones, so on a whim I decided to start at the very beginning and read the entire thing. This took several hours, but was so worth it. Your story is incredible. Such a testimony of God's strength and goodness. As a newly married woman, I so admire, Emily, how you love your husband, family and daughter and how you have cared for them. Thank you so much for being an example and an inspiration. What a Proverbs 31 woman you are.
I will continue to keep you in my prayers.
Thank you for humbly and vulnerably sharing your lives with so many readers.
In Christ,
Diana Paisley

4:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

not a day goes by that I don't think of you and your precious baby girl. Can't wait to meet you some time when you visit Briana :-)

8:54 AM  

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