I am a mom of a cutie pie (very biased). And I wanted to share my experiences with others (including my cuties grandparents, great-grandparents, numerous uncles and other relatives). I love being a mom and can't imagine doing anything else.Sunday
We decided to go to church this morning and it was good to be there. Everyone did such a good job being sensative and not being offended when we couldn't hug or they couldn't touch Alivia. No one stared (or I didn't notice). It was nice to see everyone and get to worship. We left half way through and spent the rest of the day enjoying each other and being outside. It was a nice day.
My friend mentioned that we seem weary. I can agree a hundred and ten percent. I find each day a little harder. I find that I can't pray more than "heal my baby" over and over. We have friends who were pregnant at the same time as us and their little one is 2 weeks younger than Alivia and I was walking to the bathwoom at church and she toddled down the hall and my heart broke a little more. I just want a normal kid. I am so despearte for her to get well. Today is a month. The longest, worst month of my entire life. I can't remember the last carefree day. I forget what it is like to wake up and not be scared.
Pray for strength cause mine is failing. Pray for peace for mine is lost. Pray for healing, pray for a miracle.
posted by Alivia's Momma @ 10:44 PM
13 Comments:
Emily--
Your entry struck me hard tonight. I totally understand the emotions that you are experiencing--both in my own life and in my son's life (neither of which are anywhere NEAR normal :)). And I know the fear that comes with feeling totally out of control of what is happening in your child's life. They may not be the same circumstances, but they are the same temptations. And although this is often a daily battle for me (sometimes hourly or minute-ly, depending on what is happening), I have come to find that looking for normalcy in circumstances only leads to discontentment, discouragement, and fear. None of those things are what God would have for us. But when we lean on the truth that the only "normal" thing in this world, the only thing that never changes, is God and His promises, we can look beyond our abnormal, difficult, and fearful circumstances to realize that even this is not outside of God's power and plan for our lives. He is doing mighty things in your lives, Alivia's life, and the lives of those around you. He might not have been able to show Himself forth as powerfully and miraculously as I know He will if it weren't for this specific set of circumstances. God plans all your steps; there has not been one millisecond of this last month that was out of His control. He truly does work all things together for good according to HIS purposes for us. If it were my purposes, trust me, things would be a lot different in both of our lives :) But His plans for your life and Alivia's life are so much more than you could ever think of, ask or imagine. Cling to Him; He will be faithful to His promises.
Blessings to you, Dorah, for your encouraging post...at 1:00 in the morning, no less!
Dear Emily,
When I was sick with Hodgkins, sometimes I could not pray. I took comfort in knowing when I could not pray, others were coming to the throne of God in my behalf. That would give me a measure of peace. So many are doing that for Livi, you, James and your families.
And sometimes I was so weary that I could only pray one word...and that word was "Jesus".
Mary Ann K.
Emily
we continue to pray for you that God would give you His strength to go on each day and each hour. i to have struggled with fear and it can come over you at any moment and at the times we least expect it too. i was encourage to take every thought captive to God and in the moment to plead to him and would begged him to take away my fear. fear can grip your heart, but His grace is mighty to give peace. i would outloud talk to myself and remind myself that God is here with me no matter if i could feel it or have a hard time believing it in the moment, i knew that the word promised that he was watching us and knows every step we take in the light or in the dark of night. i am thankful that God does not sleep, but keeps watch over us.
praying for you this morning-
love you~jamie
"for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. " 2 tim 1:7
praying for you.
Our feelings rise and fall at any given moment. Thankfully God is steady. He is still standing firm in your storm. He is still a rock of refuge for you. He knows your heart, your fears, your thoughts, and your sorrow. He understands your feelings. He watched his son suffer.
Psalm 139:17-18
"How precious also are Thy thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with Thee."
He is still with you.
Praying
Karla Sensenig
praying for you.
Our feelings rise and fall at any given moment. Thankfully God is steady. He is still standing firm in your storm. He is still a rock of refuge for you. He knows your heart, your fears, your thoughts, and your sorrow. He understands your feelings. He watched his son suffer.
Psalm 139:17-18
"How precious also are Thy thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with Thee."
He is still with you.
Praying
Karla Sensenig
im really really praying...
i love you,
beth
Emily,
Thank God you are reaching this point! You are getting to the end of your own strength. Next you may get your second wind, and then after that, you REALLY get to the end of your own strength. That's when you learn to trust God when things are really crappy. You can choose to allow God to use this to grow you up spiritually or this experience can be a painful, terrible time that was totally wasted on you. It's up to you and nobody will even know what you decide but you and the Lord. Praise Him when you are knee-deep in this. Doesn't He deserve it? “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28 KJV)
Read and reread what Dora wrote. Print it out and carry it around with you to pull out of your pocket and read again when you are waiting at the doctor or you can't see straight.
Emily,
I know what it feels like to wake up and be so overwhelmed with fear. My situation was not the same as yours, but the daily battle in my mind and the temptation to not hold my thoughts captive are similar. Knowing that the Lord, the God who spoke the whole world into existence was in complete control of my situation; this was my comfort. He alone is powerful! The Lord loves you, Emily. He knows you and He made you. He knows every detail of Alivia's sickness and He is completely in control.
Love,
Tonya
Emily, you guys have been on my mind so much today. i have been praying for you. Know that the Spirit is reminding us to intercede for you.
much love xoxo -tina
dear emily,
http://ordinarymother.blogspot.com/
love, mrs. c
Dear Emily,
It was so good to see Alivia, James and You yesterday.
I know the fear sickness can bring, it can consume you, look to God, He is always in control. (Psalm 139:14) I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Keep praising Him! that is were our strength is. He knows just what we need. If you continue in Psalm 139 vs. 17 says "How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! they are more in number than the sand." Remember He is always there for you. Take everything to Him. Even if you don't know what to pray for He knows your heart. Rely on His strength. We are praying for all of you.
Love you all,
Tracy
I will pray for strength, peace and a healing for livi. i can't imagine how hard it is. remember that God planned this for a certain reason, even though it is very tough for your family to go through. I will keep you in my prayers. remember to call on God for help whenever you feel down and you can't make it any more, because when you are weak he is strong and can help you.
much love,
moriah freeman
Hello,
this is a message from my mom. " I have been thinking about you and praying for you. I am sorry i haven't left any comments, but will try to soon. i will keep you in my prayers" -Lori freeman.
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