I am a mom of a cutie pie (very biased). And I wanted to share my experiences with others (including my cuties grandparents, great-grandparents, numerous uncles and other relatives). I love being a mom and can't imagine doing anything else.Day +38
Hello everybody, I had a crazy idea about a week ago to write a few blog entries for Emily....give her a little bit of a break. And at the same time give everybody reading this a different perspective than you have been getting. Let me introduce myself: I am James, Emily's husband and Livi's Dad (or Da! as she likes to call me)
This past year have been a very hard year. This is a bit of an understatment. I still remember April 8th,2006. When this whole crazy trip started. It was very scary at the begining. And it is still very scary now.I remember thinking "how can we make it through this?" The task ahead of us seemed so unbearable. I remember the first week we were in the hospital. We were in the room at the end of the hall from were we are now. At the time there was a family in the room that we are in now. A young couple like us with a daughter Livi's age. She was in the middle of a bone marrow transplant. I remember the tired look on the fathers face everynight when he would come from work to spend time with his wife and daughter. I remember looking down the hall and praying to God to spare us from that! I felt that that would be too much to have to go through. It would be more than we could bear. It seemed like a hopeless situation. Now I look up the hall at family's in the room we were in a year ago. The tables have turned. I am the tired father coming to visit my wife and daughter. We are the family going through the unbearable situation. But, somehow how it seems different from what I imagined. It's hard like I imagined, it is so tiring like i imaginged. It is so draining, so scary, so sad. But its not hopless. Somehow we are getting through it. Its not unberable. What is this? What is it that is sustaining us? Why does this seem easier than I thought even though it is harder than I imagined? I have realized that this is the grace of God. He is giving us the grace to get through the tough situations that we are in right now. The reason that it seemed so hopeless a year ago was because I had forgotten that God gives us grace to get through each situation that we are in at that moment. A year ago God was giving us grace to get through what we faced then. And now He is getting us through this. He is with us today. He is sustaining us in this moment. I don't have to worry about tomorrow or later tonight or what might come next year. God will give me grace for that situation.Then. Not now. This idea is very encouraging to me. It reminds me that God is good and that even when I can'tunderstand things or when i don't believe, He is still with me. He is still sustaining me. Even when my unbelief is bigger than my faith. God is still faithfull. This gives me hope.
I am looking forward to the day that Livi and Emily can come home. Until then I am going to continue to trust God. And, hopfully, I can learn some things through all this. Maybe grow a little as a husband and a father. Thank you to all who read this and all who are praying. I will write more later. -jh
ps. the camera is having some battery related issues and will be fixed soon so then pictures will be posted again
posted by Alivia's Momma @ 9:47 AM
43 Comments:
THANK YOU FOR SHARING WITH US AND FOR YOUR FAITHFUL THOUGHTS--
CONTINUING TO PRAY FOR ALIVIA AND YOUR FAMILY--
Phyllis
You are a great husband and dad. I will continue to pray for you all.
Love,
Cousin Margot
James,
You rock! I loved your blog entry and you just gave me inspiration for a tough situation we have been newly faced with. I'll continue to pray for you all daily. Thank you for being so candid.
-Steph C.
James,
Your and Emily's strength through all of this is a true display of how we all should live life. Your faith is an example to all and I promise you have no idea how many lives your family has touched. Just know that so many continue to pray for you day in and day out! How sweet it will be when you will be home again with your sweet Emily and sweet Alivia! God bless you all!
Jessica Bennett
thank you james... thank you for your faith and trust and amazing care for emily and alivia...
praying everyday,
love,
beth
Thank you, James ... for the reminder that God's grace is there to help us through our day - every day, all day. Praying for you, Emily and especially, little Miss Alivia. - a friend
James,
Thank you so much for your post...even though most comments have been directed to Emily, you have been in my prayers also while you continue to provide for your family this past year.... praying for continued grace, to fix your eyes on Him....God Bless....
laura m.
what a great husband and dad you are. Emily is always saying how much she appreciates and loves you, and boy is she right when she says you have a servants heart! I loved your blog entry. Is was very encouraging to read about how you are trusting God through all this. Livi is very lucky to have a daddy like you! I will keep praying for you guys.
love,
moriah
I absolutely LOVE this entry. Your words truly spoke to me. You're right - God gives us grace to get through events *when we need it* - not before! I spend so much time worrying about things that have not happened yet, that may never happen - and I forget that God will give me the grace to get through it all. Please know that you have been a blessing to me!
Please count me among the many people who pray for your precious daughter and your family every day. God bless,
It is so obvious this is a lesson you've learned to the core of your being and not just truth you know only in your head. Not many have the opportunity to know God's sustaining grace the way ya'll have known it. In a very strange, incomprehensible way, it is a privilege to know God in the way you have come to know him and even through the way you've come to know it. He has taken you to the dark places to give you treasures not even most believers acquire in their lifetime. It is a privilege to continue to pray for all of you and to be invited in to all that God is doing in your lives. Thank you for faithfully allowing us in via this blog.
Thank you James for your candid comments. It is so good to put into words the things you feel and see and experience God doing in your heart and for your family. It truly does build your trust and faith. He is a good and faithful God He does lift us up and uphold our cause, He gives us life, He dries our eyes He's always near He's a faithful God.
Awaiting the joyful news of your family's homecoming. Avia
WOW!!! What an amazing entry. I sit here trying to focus on my screen through my tears. James, it sounds to me like you have learned a lot already!! How beautifully you conveyed your thoughts. You are right and because we are not in situations like yours, we forget those things. And those of us that have not faced those kind of challenges don't realize it. We are the new family at the end of the hall wondering how we could ever deal with what you are dealing with. And now we know how. THANK YOU for sharing that with us. I am going to print it out and save it for those times that I forget. You and your family have my continued prayers and warmest thoughts!! God bless you!
Vicki Moore
What a testimony to your faith, and what a blessing you and Emily have been to all of us who have been touched by your family, even though we've never met!
Continued blessings and may you, Emily and Livi be sustained by the prayers of the faithful and the tender mercies of our loving Heavenly Father.
Deb and Rick Gilgore
James,
Thank you for sharing your lives with us! It is so amazing to hear and see how different families go through hard times and how they just rely on God. It is very evident to me that you are relying on Christ to bring you through! It is hard and will be! God is right there holding you when you are unable to walk. This statement: God gives us grace to get through events when we need it - not before - is so true! A lot of people when they are going through hard trials pretty much forget there faith and it is basically put on the back burner! You and your wife are not doing this and it is awesome to see and so encouraging to hear! Lots of love and prayers!!! Jen
Yes, James, the promise of future grace from our loving Father is a wonderful thing. Well said. We continue to pray for you and your precious family every evening.
Melissa Stoltzfus
James,
I am sitting here at work w/a huge lump in my throat. What an amazing entry. Thank you for blessing my heart in such a big way today.
Blessings,
Maryann Plesnicher
Yo James!
"Grow a little"? That's a bit understated.
By His grace for His glory...You dah man.
Thanks for the great post, James.
Well said. You need to write more often!
:-)
Still praying!
Mary Ann K.
I was just thinking that it would be helpful if we could all experience our worst nightmare so we could experience God's grace no matter what the outcome and not be afraid anymore (even though it's still difficult). Maybe that would be to overwhelming! There is a strange sense of strength that is gained once you've come through these kinds of sufferings. Even though God limits what we go through it seems to really get to our hearts.
We have to trust him in whatever we don't see.
We'll try to help bare you guys up in any way we can.
Love,
Matthew H.
God Bless you and your family. You all are in my prayers!
Rebecca
Hi James,
With all you're doing to ready your home for Livi's return, it's so special of you to spend time sharing your heart with the troops out here in blogland. I appreciate your words and hope that you are encouraged by the wonderful feedback posted here daily. Emily is "lucky" to have such a sturdy hubby in every sense. I know you feel the same towards her. Thanks for being such a sweet nephew-in-law.
My love to you all,
Aunt Lisa
thanks for writing james! SO great to hear how God's grace is showing itself to be real to you. hopeful thoughts for all of us.
Thank you James. I thank God for giving you to our family. I thank your dear family for their part in making you the wonderful man you are in all ways but especially as Emily's husband and Alivia"s "Da". Love from Marmie
Thanks James, well said. I remember the flowers you sent to me after Emily moved to Lancaster ...(I couldn't imagine who they were for because they had been arriving for her regularly from you!) Then I read the card.(which I still have tucked in my Bible). The card said: "I will take good care of your daughter, Love, James". And you have! Your blog entry encouraged me, Love, Gigi
You are right on the money. It's so true. Things that you never thought were possible for you to go through, you do, and you get through it and there's no magic way you did, except for God's grace. What an amazing testimony of His love for you all. So glad to see a post from the Dad.
Wonderful to hear from your perspective and to give Emily a much needed break. We think often of you and how much work you are doing day to day and how tired you must be going back and forth after long days of hard work. (I am watching the progress as I go to work twice a week and pass your house. And I know you have your regular day to day work too.)
It is so good to hear of your trust in the faithfulness of God and to hear of the grace you are experiencing.
Gina Plain for Jack and I
Again I find myself in awe; I can't believe how strong you and Emily have been throughout all of this.
Thank you for sharing.
Your words are an inspiration.
Love and Prayers,
Neysa
What an example of a Godly man....Husband, Father and brother in Christ.
I feel that in your present role God Himself would say to you as He did about David:
James, you are a man that God could proclaim as He did of David,You are a man after God's own heart!
Blessings and ongoing prayer for you and your special family from Indiana, Pa.
well said James...thanks for sharing...
Psalm 40:11
As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain your mercy from me; your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me!
Hi, James -
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. No one escapes hard times in life, but most people do not face so much so soon as you and Emily have. You speak with the wisdom of someone much older. Praying for all the grace you need, and praying for peace and health for all of you. Thank you again for taking the time to write - your devotion and faith shine through in a way that touches others' hearts.
Cathy S.
Faithfully praying for strength for you, James and Emily. Praying for God's healing for sweet Alivia.
-- A family in Jonestown
James,
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with us. We know that you are right there every step... now we get to hear you! The words you speak are so true and all the more true now for you and Emily as you have lived them out personally.
Perhaps you may have started something..It would also be nice to hear from your dad and mom and Emily's dad and mom. I often think of how this is affecting them.
Blessings from the God who saves,
Aunt Anne
Hi James! Though I have never met you or Livi I have come to feel like I do through this blog. I envy the attitude that you all have had through this. I too am a mom and have often thought that your situation would be unbearable-thank you for giving your point of view-it's very inspiring. I hope that you are all doing well. I look forward to more pictures! She's such a doll!
Natalie Murdick
Wow, that is an amazing testomony!
I am still praying for you guys everyday! Remember, God will not have us endure trials we cannot handle but, we cannot endure anything without Gods help!
Love you guys,
Pamela J. Bueche
James,
Thanks so much for sharing what God is doing... Yes and Amen! God is glorified in your lives!
We continue to pray for you all,
Calvetti Family
Thanks for sharing James! You're a good egg.
Betsie Camp
after 36 comments, i dont think ill say anything unique or different about how great that was to read. but i really love you guys.
praying,
rebekah
Dear James,
Thank you so much for letting us know how it's been for you over this past year, and how the Lord has done, for you, exactly what His words promises He will do. Thank you for your encouragement to us, and for your honest account of what if feels like to be a dad on that floor. You are different. Through your pain and suffering, God had made His mark on you. It's beautiful. You're helping us. Thank you
Kristi A.
What a wonderful husband and father you are, James! I am tremendously blessed by reading your entry today. God really is so GOOD! Thank you for the reminder of His grace for the moment. I pray toward the day that your little family will come home to be with you. Soon! Very soon!
Love,
Julie
I echo everyone else and especially Julie when she says she is praying for the tearful reunion at home for your whole family. Praying and praying so hard for all of you.
James, it was so good hearing from you..little Livi's Daddy. Thanks for sharing your heart. God will continue to give you grace for each new day and we will continue to pray...
Beth M from Living Hope
James,
You go guy! Thanks for being honest and sharing from your heart. All I could think of as I read your post is the song "Our God is an Awesome God"! May the Lord Jesus Christ continue to bless you, your wife and your daughter. You all have been in our thoughts and prayers and we will continue to lift you up to the Father.
Ben, Maria, Julie, Benjy, and Rachel Krothe
James,
Love you my friend and I am proud of you.
Lyndon
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