Who's the cutest girl around?

I am a mom of a cutie pie (very biased). And I wanted to share my experiences with others (including my cuties grandparents, great-grandparents, numerous uncles and other relatives). I love being a mom and can't imagine doing anything else.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

From Erin W.


I dream about Livi often, the dreams are always good, but always a little bitter sweet, waking up in reality and knowing my little friend is not hear today and won’t be tomorrow either. But those dreams cause me to be happy about the times I got to spend with Livi, and James and Emily.

I really got one of the best deals because about this time last year, I moved in to the Haughery’s house to live with them for a couple months. The first day I was there I sat in a chair in the living room, Livi was at her usual spot playing with her toys on the coffee table and she completely ignored me. For about a week any time I came into the room and did not sit in that chair, she would point at me and shake her hand, and “uh-uh, no” until I moved over to the chair (Emily would kindly tell Livi that, “Erin can sit where she wants to”). I finally I broke the routine, and Livi and I became fast friends. You could find us reading books together about farm animals, playing with her little dolls, dancing in her room, she even would let me hold and carry her sometimes – a very rare special treat because if you were not momma or da, it did not always happen. She was so particular, always knew exactly what she wanted, and defiantly a leader, not a follower and once you met Livi and fell in love with her you want to follow her.

One of favorite times at the Haughery’s was dinnertime, Livi would eat earlier and often Emily and I would wait to eat with James when he came home from work. We would eat in the living room to be with Livi, James would sit on the couch and Emily and I would sit cross-legged on the floor at the coffee table. Livi would walk back and fourth between Emily and I sitting on our laps and telling us what to eat off our plates or to take a drink. She was never annoying, always cute and just wanted to help.

The first time I came to visit Livi and Emily (and Pa and Gigi) in the hospital I wondered if Livi would be a little shy. She had not seen me for a little while because I had to wait till the critical germ period was over. The moment I walked in the room she said “En”, and handed me her special white kitty. I was shocked! That was the first time she said my name! It was so cute and funny; Emily and I kept asking her to say my name over and over, and she had this look on her face that just said, “yes, I am cute and funny and I know I am smart”. She handed me the kitty because when I lived with the Haughery’s Livi and I would read books about kitties and I would show her pictures of the two cats at my parents house in Indiana, and we would talk about visiting them together.

There was something just so special and wonderful about her, I think maybe God made her that way because he knew she would not be her long. The way she was brought so much joy to the people around her, and joy to her too. When you were in a room with her, all you wanted was to be near her.

I have such sweet memories of her from home and the hospital. At home she would let me feed her (which usually Emily was the only one allowed), sit by her in the car then by her in her hospital bed.

One time, in May, I remember I came to see Livi and Emily, and Emily was trying to write an email, and Livi needed to take a nap. Sometimes Livi would fall asleep on her own, but most of the time Emily would need to stand by her bed and rub her tummy till she fell asleep. This time Livi kept waking up and would whimper a little. Emily asked her if she would let me rub her tummy, she did and I spent 10 or 15 minutes just gently rubbing her tummy and talking quietly with her till she fell asleep. What a precious moment.

I remember the time in the hospital when Livi was unfortunately quite swollen. Emily and I remarked to each other that she was still cute. When Emily would talk Livi would talk at the same time and say “yea, uh-huh, yeah”. Emily would be talking about the color of the siding on their house or what she had for lunch and Livi would just chime in with “yea, uh-huh, yeah”, and nod her head up and down. So cute and so funny.

James and Emily are a portrait I’ve never seen a double to. They truly are absolutely amazing. James was and is unfailing in his care and love for Emily and Livi. He really would do anything to make life better and more comfortable for them. There are not many who are more kind than him. Emily was stunning in her unfailing care for Livi (out of and in the hospital). She always made life for Livi fun, relaxed, and entertaining. Emily even cared about the other children on the floor, buying them presents (pa and Gigi did that too), painting their doors, praying for them, and more, I am sure, we don’t even know about. It is no wonder Livi was always so happy; she had Emily and James as her parents.

Today, Livi helps me to understand that we were not made for this place, and our lives really our not our own.

I am so happy that I got to be around her and love her here for just a little while, a time that was to short though. Who knew that a year later, this is where we would be? It is so hard for me to understand why she had to die; I still don’t, and as I’ve heard Gigi remark, don’t think I ever will this side of heaven.

I’ll always have a heartache for Livi



Anonymous Beth Young said...

Wow, Erin's post was beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

I loved how she talked through your talking, Emily "yea, uh-huh, yea". Sounds like conversations at our house.

1:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

erin i really enjoyed reading your thoughts about livi...thank you for posting them.

<3 cori bitterman

1:55 PM  
Blogger momofcolin_chloe said...

Thanks so, so much for sharing, Erin! What a gift to have been able to love Livi so closely. I am so jealous!

I have a list of "whys" and I pray for an answer everyday, knowing full well that I won't get an answer until my life here is done...But, I figure if I ask every day the Lord might answer my urgent requests sooner when the time comes. Sort of like one big flash of relief...and if nothing else, it makes me feel like I've addressed the turmoil in my heart at least for the day.

Still praying for you and your families, James and Emily. Thank you for continuing to share your sweet girl with the world.


2:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks for sharing those thoughts erin. they are so special to read. Emily and James, you guys showed so much love to sweet livi, and like erin said, no wonder she was so happy. I will continue to pray for you guys.

love ya,

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this was such a beautiful post about livi Erin thank you for sharing it. I only wish I could have been able to see her smiling face. I continue to pray for you all!

4:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Erin, thanks for sharing some of your memories of sweet Livi. I am struggling to put into words the memories I have of Livi because we should still be making more memories. All the dreams and plans for our little girl ended when she was taken from her earthly home. I'm not reconciled to the finality. Marmie

9:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

continuing to pray for all of you. -sue f.

11:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

erin......another bond we can share........our love for livi, james and emily. somehow, it is good to be able to read about dear livi, and see her through other's eyes who loved her too! she was the best blessing ever........i just wanted there to be more. gigi

2:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so glad I know Emily and James and can read this blog daily. It puts life in such a perspective that many never get to see. You all are such blessings to us 'plain folk'. Thank you so much for sharing. You fill my heart with goodness.
Thank you.
Em's friend from college- Steph C

7:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I dream about Livi often, the dreams are always good..."
What sweet dreams you are blessed with, Erin!

Still praying for the Haugherys and Allens.

Mary Ann K.

2:44 PM  
Anonymous Monica C. said...

This was really beautiful! I love the "yea-uh huh-yea." Too cute!

4:42 PM  

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