Who's the cutest girl around?

I am a mom of a cutie pie (very biased). And I wanted to share my experiences with others (including my cuties grandparents, great-grandparents, numerous uncles and other relatives). I love being a mom and can't imagine doing anything else.

Monday, August 14, 2006

I've got a case of the Mondays

Today was a rough day. It started earlier than usual and I was awoken not the the sound of a babbling happy baby but to a very unhappy, crying girl. And the crying didn't stop all morning. She didn't eat well and everything was upsetting. She would finally stop for a few seconds and I would move an inch from where we had been and it would all start again. Instead of turning to God, I ran head long into all the worst thoughts. Increased crankiness is a sign the doctor is always looking for so my thoughts were of all the horrible things this crankiness ment. Then I noticed what I thought was an infections and had to call our pediatrician. Thankfully he was able to ask a bunch of questions over the phone and calm my fears (and as the day progressed I realized I had over reacted and it was nothing). Everytime Livi cried I joined in. I have tried desperatly not to cry in front of her. I don't want her to be scared by my tears, but today I couldn't seem to cope. Needless to say our house was a bit of a mess. About 11:15 she was screaming once again and wanting to eat but then freaking out when any food was in her mouth and I started to wonder if she had mouth sore (another sign) so as she was screaming I layed her back and looked in her mouth and spotted the problem....TEETH!!! She is getting her I-teeth and is was so painful that she was miserable. So we had a very normal mommy moment. Here I am convincing myself that these are all signs of worsening leukemia and instead it is something every single mom encounters. So after some tylenol and ora-gel I had my girl back. She was her happy self once again. She ate a great lunch (since she had all but skipped breakfast) and was so wiped from all the crying that she feel asleep in her high chair. I put her to bed only to have her wake up miserable a half hour later. She was completely soaked. Over the last few weeks we have had great success with figuring out how to get her not to sweat so much at bedtime and naps. Most it involved fans a the right angles and sleeping in diapers only. Yet again I read into the sweating and started to cry...until I realized the fan wasnt at the right angle and I had put her to bed with her shirt on. I got everything right and she slept for a few more hours.

Where is my trust today...obviously in my own perceptions (which have all been wrong) and the words of the doctor not in God. I just let go of all the truth I know and ran to myself. What a mess. What a wasted day. And yet there were little blessings all around. My friend Leslie called at just the right moment and listened to me cry. My friends Ang and April both offered sweet words. We got dinner (which I forgot was coming!) and my lovely husband took Alivia for a nice long walk so I could have some time alone. Then this evening we got to see our friends Jeff and Leslie (she's everywhere today!!) and it was so nice to be normal (crazy) people for a bit. Here I am wallowing and yet God is blessing me anyway. Oh I don't deserve it.

Thanks for today
The Buntings for a great dinner...when chicken alfredo is done right (and boy can it be done wrong)...but when it is right...oh do I love it. I must get the recipe so when I start to cook again I can wow my husband (who also loves it). Perfect choice.

Thank you notes from...
The Buntings, Jeremy Landis, (Uncle) William and (Uncle) Chris Haughery, Carol Schloemer, and Rachel Kennedy

Here is the tally for thank you notes.
Janiece- 17
Holly- 22
Lois- 19
Chris- 17
Cindy- 18
Carol- 19
Joanne- 19
Maritza- 17
Denise- 19

10 Comments:

Blogger adalieplain said...

i have some thankyou notes for you on Sunday.

1:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am pryaing for you guys. I pray today was a little better for that sweet little girl of yours. Keep trusting God through all of this, and remember to call out to him when you need him, because he is there for you. Sending prayers your way.

Love,
moriah

2:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Emily, James and Alivia,

We do not stop praying for each one of you. So sorry that we haven't been better about writing. You have certainly learned first hand what it means to "take up your cross daily and follow him". Don't be too hard on yourself when you have doubts. You've ever had to walk on this road before, nor had so much demanded of you. All that you are experiencing will not be in vain, God is working his purpose out in you.

Much love,
Aunt Anne and family

3:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am praying every day for you, i pray that livi's teeth will come in quick and with as little pain as possible. keep your trust in the Lord, He will guide your steps. Look to him for help, he is always there for you.

have a great night,
Christi

4:27 PM  
Blogger Lauren said...

Hi, I came to your blog from the Wilhoite blog, and I just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you and your darling child. I'll be praying for that "best case scenerio" and that she is healed. Also praying for those teeth!

God bless you and your family,
Lauren.

4:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey emily,
just getting caught up on your blog and praying for your week. i even found myself feeling anxious about thursday, so i can imagine how much more you are having to guard your thoughts and lay them before the Lord. and you are so right about His blessings all around us, thank you for looking and pointing me/others to Him!
(like the notes for the nurses- that will be a shower of encouragement!)
praying for you now, kb

5:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have become such a spontaneous "crier" that I am going to get a second job as a professional crier at weddings! Jesus certainly cried in the Garden of Gethsemane, so, again, He knows all of what we are experiencing! However, He knew to keep on praying, when I just give into the fear...often before I even realize it. So, I will just keep praying too for Livi to be healed soon...and for you and James to be able to get through this. Honey, I will cry or pray with you anytime...we all will. We are all in this together. Oh Lord, we know you "arm isn't too short" to heal Alivia. Come Jesus come. Amen (You know who).

6:59 PM  
Blogger beth said...

emily, i am praying for you guys...
i love you

beth

1:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have spent the last couple of days reading your blog from start to present. I belong to Chesapeake Community Church in Joppa, MD. I am friends with Briana and Lawrence. Thank you so much for blogging even when it has been painful or tiresome. My heart is hopeful for you and your daughter. I have been praying for you whenever I wake up in the middle of the night, which is often. I too have experienced extreme trial in my life. Keep crying out to God. He has provided us with a body of believers to carry us if need be. I have been freshly encouraged by reading your blog. I would like to send thank you notes for the nurses. Should I send them to the address you posted earlier?
Donna Bishop

11:03 PM  
Blogger The Garners said...

Em,

Boy, can I relate to your day. Monday was a terrible day for me too. Jude must have been telepathically communicating with Livi, because he was a MESS and at one point I actually just screamed. Of course that only made things 10x's worse and then I cried because I couldn't believe I got so upset. Being a mom is so hard! And, like Livi, I think it was all about teethers for Jude too. Dang those teeth!!!

The day wasn't a waste. It was a great reminder of where your hope is...or at least should be, right? I admire you so much! And I think I would be in a tearful heap every day if I were you.

Can't wait to hear how things go on Thursday!

I love ya!
Julie

12:01 AM  

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