Shocked
This morning I got a call from Johns Hopkins saying they had an appointment scheduled for us for October 12th...deep breath. Okay I thought that is 2 weeks to get my head and heart ready for whatever the bigwig will say. So we went about our day and I put it in the back of my mind and didn't let myself dwell on it. We went to a nice lunch with James and ran to WalMart. Got home, realized I had washed and dried a load of laundry without detergent so re-washed it, got Livi down for nap and sat down to relax for a bit...when the phone rang. It was the assistant from Hopkins calling to ask if we could make it THIS Thursday! ***SHOCK*** Not was I expected from my day. And it all hit me rather hard. I know this is the best thing for Alivia. We need to hear what he'll say and all but its also really scary. EVeryone fully expects him to recommend bone marrow transplant and when he does then it will begin the clock ticking towards a transplant. I could almost pretend that this wasn't all going on when we were still waiting to here. This is just another dose of reality for me. I'm so tired of this reality. I'm so tired of this road. I feel numb half the time and sad the rest of the time.
Pray for Alivia. This is going to be a week full of doctors poking and proding. We will either be going to Hershey tomorrow or Friday to get counts and maybe a transfusion. Personally I want to go and get it over with tomorrow so we could have 3 whole days without a doc visit. But what I want has nothing to do with what will or wont' happen.
Thanks to everyone that is fasting and praying. This is turning out to be the perfect week for it. We can use all the prayer we can get.
20 Comments:
Well, this reality tour can stop anytime now! However, we will all be together and we can't wait to see you all. Baltimore here we come! Get ready for the "Livi train". Love, Mom
Emily-
You all are constantly in our thoughts and prayers. You're right, the perfect week for fasting and prayer.
Psalm 121
"I lift my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved; He who keeps you (and Livi) will not slumber.
The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all evil; He will keep your life.
The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore."
May these words speak truth and comfort to you heart during this extremely difficult time.
Praying for you-
Grace
Emily,
Could not sleep, so I'm up praying for you all. I pray you would feel God's nearness and that He would be as real as this deep sadness. His Great Hand is upholding you.
April Stoltzfus
There are no promises and no guarentees, but I want you to know that in 2000, when my Dad was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer, the doctors here in Lancaster said he had a 1% chance of survival and that he would be gone within 6 months. That was grim news. He went to a doctor at Johns Hopkins who was more familiar with his cancer and this man (and all the people there) fought for my father's life and my dad lived SIX MORE YEARS ... YEARS, I'm saying...after that. When he did pass away it wasn't from that cancer. They cured him. (Well, GOD cured him, but they sure didn't stand in the way) Those doctors down at Hopkins are amazing, Emily. I hope that you have a similar experience to ours. Ultimately God is the only one who saves lives, but those doctors are gifted men and women and God used them in my family and I pray he uses them in yours too. Don't lose hope now, Sister! They are there to help your little girl and they will do everything they can to fight for her life!
Praying and praying,
Julie
I'm praying for each of you.
Love you,
Maureen
I will be praying/fasting Sat-Sun this week.
Aunt Marcy
James and Emily,
I've been praying over these verses for you this week:
Romans 8:26-27
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.
When there are no more words, when our brains are so numb and can't take another thing, we are not left alone, we are not left defeated. The Holy Spirit is there doing what we can't do ourselves. The Holy Spirit will never tire or cease in His work. We have the greatest Comforter and dispenser of power in the Holy Spirit. All thanks to the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, our Savior.
Jesus, thank you for sending the Holy Spirit after being raised from the dead and going back to the Father. Holy Spirit, thank you for interceding and strengthening my prayers for Alivia. Holy Spirit, please continue your work in this situation. I cry out to you God to heal this girl, knowing full well you and only you alone can heal her. Thank you God that you hear my prayers not because of who I am but because of who you are. In Christ's name, Amen.
it made me happy to see you guys our and about the other night...
i am praying. God still knows whats up- i am so grateful for that.
Yes to "Mom"........here comes the Livi train! :-) For those who don't know what that means.....picture James holding Livi, Emily beside James then Dave and Gretchen and Bill and me all walking down the hall to the next room we have to go in. That's the "Livi train". And when I think of it, it makes me smile. Alivia has been placed in our families by God. We are all here doing whatever we have to do to get her to health. That is the goal. Health. (That thing that when you have it you don't even think about how important it is.) Health. That is where we're going.
She has so much life in her. She has the cutest smile! She has such a sense of humor and intellegence. We just are going to do whatever it takes to keep that life.
Jesus, You are the Author and Sustainer of life. Bless Alivia's life.
Cynthia
I will be praying for you. I hope that Thursday goes ok. I feel so bad for what livi and you have to go through, but I know the Lord's hand is in it all. Remember to keep trusting him through all of this.
with love,
moriah
Emily,
I was so glad to hear that Alivia finally got in. It's a new chapter-a new beginning to get more answers and more solutions! Have a safe trip and keep your chin up!
Thinking of you always,
Natalie(Gamble)Murdick
I am praying for you guys.
Sarah Sensenig
Emily,
Just wanted you to know that I am still praying, praying, praying. I am so thankful that you will get to see the doctors at Hopkins earlier than expected. I have heard that the doctors there are really smart and on the cutting edge of what is going on in the world of medecine. I am not losing any hope that Alivia will be healed. "The wonders of God cannot be fathomed.." love,
Leslie M.
Emily,
Praying for you.
Lois S
Emily,
I just read your blog. I am praying and fasting for your little one and you and James as you face this very hard time!
God saying though go through the fire you will not be burned and as you walk throughthe water you will not drown as I AM with you.
Lois
dear emily,
may God's word bring you
stength & hope today.
praying for you dear friend.
love, mrs.c
psalm 62
5 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
6 He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
7 On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.
James, Emily, and Alivia,
My family and I have been spreading the word about Alivia. Anytime someone asks us if we have any prayer requests your family is the first thing out. The kids have been asking their classmates to pray at school as well. God is hearing many, many different voices on Alivia's behalf. And how sweet it is to hear a "child" praying for people they don't even know but in faith knowing that God will hear and answer their prayers. You will soon hear Alivia's sweet prayers verbalized as well! You are always in our thoughts and prayers. Even as "strangers."
With prayers, love, and petitions,
Tim, Kim, Joshua, and Lauren Cranmer
Hello James & Emily,
With more love and more prayers and more compassion, everyone is surrounding you and lifting you up to God. It is very likely that Livi and you guys have someone praying for you every second of the day! We will continue as always to ask God for Livi's health and for Him to sustain you.
As others have been saying, the Livi train is heading to Baltimore! And your families, your care group, your church (and friends' churches), your many many friends, and everyone on this blog are part of the Livi train...the only thing is that thousands of people aren't usually great for taking to Johns Hopkins. If you watch TV, think of us as the "network" from that cell phone commercial. Thank You God for Your network!!!
With more faith,
Anya Stoltzfus
I love Anya's picture of the "network". I can just see it. I can picture thousands of angels all there with us.
Just wanted you to know that Jack, Adalie and I are lifting you all up to the throne. Isn't it a comfort to know that while there are surprises every day, not one of them is a surprise to our Lord?
Love, Gina Plain
Emily,
The last two pics you sent me of Livi are soo cute. I still have a picture of her as my desktop at work. It breaks my heart most of the time when I look at pics of her and see how cute she is and think about what she is going through. The Lord is Forever faithful, though and he has Livi's life in his hands. Thank you Lord. I'm praying.
john H.
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