I am a mom of a cutie pie (very biased). And I wanted to share my experiences with others (including my cuties grandparents, great-grandparents, numerous uncles and other relatives). I love being a mom and can't imagine doing anything else.I wanna go home
yes we are still in the hospital...no there is no sign of us ever getting to do home. For the last three days nothing has changed. during the day she is 98-100% oxygen saturation on room air... meaning no help at all. Then she falls asleep and she drops (after a while) to 88-90%. Alarms go off, nurses come running and we end up hooked up to the blow-by again (air blows by her face). Normal room air is 25% oxygen and we are on 40% oxygen in the blow-by. Now the idea is that we need to make it through a night without going below 91. What if this is normal for her? what if it has always been this way and we jsut didn't know? if that is a fact then they shoudl send us home with oxygen for when she sleeps. people go home with oxygen all the time, they go home with heart monitors for goodness sake. I am tired of being here. We only have so much time before we will be here for at least 6 weeks. why not let us enjoy some time at home, as a family? We don't get sleep here, we don't have enough time with james becuase by the time he gets off work and gets up here its 7 and she's already winding down for the evening. She is still accessed (meaning a needles is sticking out of her port) which means she could get an infections. it is covered but there is that change the longer it is accessed. I am giving her all of her medicines by mouth and I am the one who sets up the oxygen when the alarm goes off and I am the one who puts the sensor on her to read her pulse oxygen level. Why can't I do all of that at home? I am feeling so hopeless. Each time we hook up the oxygen tube it means another night here. Besides checking vitals the nurses dont' even have to come in our room.
pray that the docs have mercy on us and send us home with oxygen. pray that her port doesn't get infected. pray that I don't freak out and start yelling at someone. Pray that the little time we get to see James is enough for now (personally I want to spend all of my time with him and no time is enough..but thats another story)
posted by Alivia's Momma @ 11:32 PM
13 Comments:
Emily, I am praying, praying that this situation that is so crazy for you can come to a good resolution. Have the doctors offered any explanation for why they won't send you home with the oxygen? It does seem so very hard to stay in such an uncomfortable circumstance when there seems a much easier alternative. It would be interesting to know why they insist that you stay?! I wonder what they would have to say about it. Praying that you will be at peace about this, hopefully because you can go home - but, if that can't happen, then at least that you are there with some feeling that what you are doing makes some kind of sense. God bless, and know that so many hold you in their hearts.
Cathy S.
morning emily-
i am praying for mercy and that the doctors would have wisdom in making the decision about Livi's 02 levels. and i will also pray that you do not freak out being in the room 24/7 and that you will have peace and supernatural patience as you wait for the doctors explainations of why you are not home yet. love you-jamie
I will be praying for you guys emily. I will pray that the docs have mercy on you, and you will be in your own home soon. Hang in there and keep trusting GOD.
Love,
moriah
Emily,
I feel hopeless with you. I wanna come out and kidnap you guys. Man, I can't believe you haven't wrung someone's neck ;-) LET THEM GO HOME! Praying for that today
Love, Grande Aunt Lisa
Emily,
Hi there. Just wanted to send you a note that I hope will encourage you.
Elisabeth Elliott wrote this in one of her newsletters in 2003 and it is something I have written in my journal and helps me to keep perspective on trials and hope.
She writes,
"Could it be that our suffering, even that which we bring upon ourselves, provides us with the raw material for true hope? Hosea thought so. Speaking for God, he wrote, “I will make the Valley of Achor [which means “trouble”] a door
of hope” (Hosea 2:15). I find it interesting that Achor and anchor are so similar in spelling. The Valley of Achor, near Jericho, was named by Joshua after Achan brought sin into the camp. Achan’s name meant “trouble.” By stealing some of
the spoils from the victory at Jericho, he had incurred the defeat in the battle of Ai. He and his family were stoned to death to purge the curse from the midst of
the people. After his demise, the fighting men of Israel mounted a second attack and defeated Ai in a
stroke. Joshua commemorated the day by naming the valley Achor, so the people would remember what had happened before the victory.
This is the same obscure valley that, six centuries later, the prophet Hosea declared God would make a “door of hope.” “I will lead her [Israel] into the desert and speak tenderly to her. . . . I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord” (Hosea 2:14, 19-20).
Today, twenty-seven centuries after Hosea prophesied those words of hope, we can look at them with the aid of the Light that has come into
the world. Whatever our lot, He can do it. He can walk into our valley of trouble and convert all our
false hope to true hope, where we can be anchored securely. With His sustaining help, we can dwell in the
reality of 1 Corinthians 3: “Faith, hope, love abide, these three.”
Emily, I'm praying for you today that God would give you true hope and show himself the only secure anchor for your soul. Our hope in the Lord is not vain. He is everlasting, He is Alpha and Omega. He is able to uphold you physically and mentally with his strong and loving hands.
Psalm 139:7-12
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens,
you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths,
you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
i will also pray for you emily. and for the docs...that they will hear you and you will find some peace today. sounds so hard. xoxo
TO: EMILY
Dear, sweet, lovable Emily - you are so precious I wish I could fly up there and sit next to you while you sleep and be at your beck and call 24 hours a day until this is over. It is enough that your baby is sick. But these added stresses are too much for one person to bear (not that you are alone) I suspect there is not a person you know who would blame you if you freaked out about now. I would let you freak out and scream at me. I've had people freak out/scream at me for much less. Even though you know deep down that "All is well" , your emotions tend to forget. They are being tossed around in a mighty whirlwind. Sometimes just the steady harsh whirlwind, sometimes gusting even stronger. Just go with it and don't feel guilty. If you are being tossed, toss. What if you happen to toss "off the handle" ? Who is going to fault you? Certainly not God, who is working a Master Plan within the whirlwind. He is madly in love with us in a way we can only dream about right now. And your friends and family love you almost as much as that. You are a precious jewel to us and I cry blessings upon your head every day.
Love, Aunt Marcy
I'm sorry you're still in the hospital. I'm praing for EXTRA, EXTRA strength for you, Livi & James.
Love you,
Maureen
Please Lord be with this little girl and her family. Let them feel your presence at all times, even if it is in a hospital room. Please allow them to feel that your hand is guiding all of this chaos in their lives. I pray that all those who encounter this family can witness your love and guidance in their lives and that they may be a living testimony that You ARE a loving, caring and forgiving God. May you please hold Livi in your arms at all times as she is a child of God who is loved no matter what. May you please allow her father and mother to be filled with peace and that they will find joy in the little blessings that are present in their lives.
I am praying that you get to go home, and very soon. I wish I could make it all better for you! God bless,
Praying.....
Christi
Emily--
Just got your message! You are hilarious!!!! =))
Emily,
I am praying along with the others that you receive an oasis in this desert that you are in.
Please, Lord, grant Emily a respite from this trial!
Still praying!
Mary Ann K.
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