Who's the cutest girl around?

I am a mom of a cutie pie (very biased). And I wanted to share my experiences with others (including my cuties grandparents, great-grandparents, numerous uncles and other relatives). I love being a mom and can't imagine doing anything else.

Saturday, October 27, 2007


Some of us have gotten tattoos to honor Alivia. I wanted to post pictures of them. I won't be saying who they belong to but it means so much that so many of our family and friends have them.

There are a few people who have gotten them who I don't have pictures of. If you have one send me a photo. Thanks.

Monday, October 22, 2007


Mondays Alivia and I always spent the day at home especailly the last year of her life because Tuesdays were always hospital days. We did laundry, played and hung out in our PJ's most of the day. I loved Mondays. I loved the days with just us. Here are so photos from those days.

Livi always sat on my lap when I checked my e-mail. I would take pictures of her to distract her from the keyboard which was way to much fun. E-mails took forever when it was with only one finger. But it was worth it.

This is what happened to Livi's hair if we didn't take a bath. As it was a Monday my solution was a pigtail in the front and wait till bath time to try to get the knots out.

Another checking e-mail shot.

When I put the laundry away in her room I would sometimes put her in her crib. One time I decided to put all the stuffed animals she owned in with her. She had a glow worm and would make it light up and play music and dance. Her friends of course had to dance too. Just another version of the famous Livi dance party.

Somedays we didn't even do PJ's. Just a onesie and some boots. One of the cutest looks I've ever seen.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


Gigi is here visiting me for a few days so I thought I would post some Livi and Gigi pictures.

Mom/Gigi was always trying to get Livi to eat new things. She would put a ton of little pieces of food in front of her in hopes that she would eat something besides jsut yogurt. This was one of the times it worked. She ate pretzels.

Christmas morning last year. Mom got Livi gloves and ear warmers with snowmen on it. Of course the little princess had try them on right away.

Before we entered the hospital we spent a ton of time cleaning. It was always worth it for Livi. Here are Gigi and Livi taking a break from the cleaning. Their sitting on our kitchen floor.

On of the million trips to the hospital. Livi probably spilled something, threw up or got too sweaty and we had to put her in a hospital gown. She and Gigi sitting on the floor of the cafeteria looking out the window.

Of course you can't have pictures of Gigi without at least one of Pa.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Pictures again

More Photos...I could post pictures for the next 5 months and still not share them all. I love looking at these.

Livi got a little dog for Christmas that she could pull. She loved it and spent so much time dragging it around the living room at my parents. It never was such a big hit at home. Maybe because our floors were so uneven it was hard to pull. But at Gigi and Pa's it was the biggest hit ever.

Here is a shot from the photo shoot we did in October of 06. We had such fun. Livi enjoyed it even more once they let her be nuddie. But those pictures are just for us.

Getting smooched by her best friend. I dreamed of these two having sleep overs and trying make-up together for the first time. I dreamed of the adventures they would have.

My baby and me. Could we be any happier?!

She loved these men. She adored them in fact. And they adored her back. What fun they had. This if from Christmas last year. My parents living room has steps that come into it and it was the perfect seat for Livi. She would plop down and within seconds have people fighting over who got to sit by her. Imagine being that popular your whole life. That's how Livi was.

Friday, October 12, 2007


I wanted to post a few pictures of Livi. Just cause I miss her face.

Here is Livi when she was 6 months old. She had crazy hair that stood up all the time. Like a mini mohawk. The day after this photo was taken it stopped standing up. Glad we got the photos while it was still a mohawk. I loved that mohawk.

The queen at Hands on House dressed like...an old women maybe?! Of course she has the microphone in her hand. It was the first thing she found when we went in the dress up room and it was hard to get away from her when it was time to leave.

Putting a diaper on Kermit. She loved this game. We finally started using a duckie diaper cover because she was going through so many real diapers a day. She refused to us a diaper twice. It had to be thrown away once Kermit was done with it which usually was 2 minutes after it went on.

Livi at her best friends house. She loved going there and you can tell from the look on her face. She is probably 5 or 6 months old.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I still have tributes to post (some of which people are struggling to put into words) and I will continue to do so over the next few weeks. Just wanted to take a moment to tell everyone about our Light the Night experience. Our team had a great turn out and we were able to raise over 4,000 dollars!! It was so amazing. I was truly blessed by all who contributed and thankful that we all got to walk together. There were over a thousand people there and it was an amazing night. I just wish Livi could have been there with us. She would have loved all the balloons and people to watch. There was a rememberance ceremony that really touched me. I miss her so much.

This last weekend was our 6 yr wedding anniversary and the 3 month anniversary of Livi's death. What a strange combo for us. There was a desire to celebrate our marriage but also to miss and mourn Livi. We had some friends over to help with the house (thanks Lyndon, Jamie, Matt and David) which is still a work in process. We couldn't have asked for a better present. It is hard to still not have the house done and still have to be devoting so much time to trying to finish projects we started to make the house better for Livi. I just wish the house was done so we could focus on other things. Someday. James and I got to go to a B&B in Brandywine. It was so nice and relaxing. I was talking to my dad before we left and he said that he felt ripped off because we had planned to have them stay with Livi for our anniversary. I feel ripped off too.

We are still moving along. Still trying to keep our heads above the water. In her life Livi and I were never apart for more than 4 hours. I can't believe we've been apart for 3 months. It feels like an eternity already.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

From Uncle Andrew

Of all the uncles, Livi made Andrew work the hardest for her affections. I'm not sure why...maybe because she knew he could handle it and wouldn't take it personally, maybe because of the reaction she got from everyone. When we would all be sitting together and she would be handing things out she would tease Andrew. She would walk towards him and we would all think she was heading for him then she would turn at the last second and get this mischevious grin on her face as we all laughed and said "oh Livi". But she said his name early. She knew him in pictures when he wasn't around and she made sure he followed her even if she wouldn't let him have a toy. I know she loved you Andrew.

I can't write a be-all, end-all, ode to Livi, because these are just words, but I'd like to take this space to say how special she was and is to me.

I wasn't real excited when I first met Livi. She was just small and didn't do much. Time passed though and her golden personality developed. And her place in my heart grew and grew until she had taken over large pockets of the entire thing.

She was very thoughtful, beautiful, warm, kind, and hilarious. We always had fun playing with her. When I'd go for a weekend in Lancaster, I'd stay on the couch in the living room. I'd wake up early and go check on Livi to see if she was up yet. Sometimes I would even be in there waiting for her to awake before Pa. Oftentimes she was still asleep and I'd wonder if it would be 'bad' for me to wake her. When she'd get up, she'd have this sweaty head and look really cute. We'd go into Pa and Gigi's room and she'd wake one of them if either was still sleeping by hitting them in the face and yelling 'Gup!'. This was funny to her (and us). Then she'd make us breakfast in her deluxe kitchen set, and she'd always take her time making sure everything was cooked just right and that the meals were prepared and presented impeccably. She'd be really creative too and put ice cream on the toast sometimes.

Then we'd just play little impromptu games all day that were always fun. Though sometimes they went on for quite a long time. Livi would take little breaks and have yogurt and some cinnamon toast. She would try to eat as little bread as possible by just picking off the buttered cinnamon and sugar. There's a picture on my parent's fridge of her eating toast and my brother and I are next to her playing guitars. She has the best look on her face and a perfect little outfit w/ little Elmo slippers. She had many cool little outfits. After some time Livi would have to take a nap, so we all became bored for those hours.

Eventually, she'd get up and the games would resume interspered with book readings and maybe a trip into town out for dinner. Having Livi at a restaurant brought a lot of attention from other patrons who enjoyed watching her and smiled. They were a little jealous too because she was with us and not them. She was a really good person to have with you. Nighttime meant more playing, maybe a bath for her, and the great nightcap: dance party hosted by Livi. Then she had to go to bed and I would miss her. Usually she didn't want to go to bed. The next day would be the same, full of laughs, hugs, and happiness.

Then I'd have to leave and it would be sad for me. Because I missed her while I was gone. She was always on my mind in between visits. I'd be having a great time at the beach with buddies, but I'd think how much more fun it would be if my little friend was here running around and exploring. I'd see a dog and think of how Livi would be excited to be here and see the dog. But I was mostly sad to leave because I was fearful of a day like this. Days when she wouldn't be around anymore. And now those are the only days we have.

Even though she is gone, she is always very close to me because she is in my heart and the hearts of my family. And good things everywhere have a touch of her, from a little wave breaking on the shore to Jerry Garcia's guitar in "Morning Dew", she is there. Alivia was a special gift from God to our family. And I feel very blessed to have known her and been in her life. The impact she has left on us is greater than anything we gave to her. I wrote a poem:

There you are again little friend
drawing on my heart
with the well crafted etches
of a graceful girl quite smart

And I wistfully recall
with luster and fond cheer
the richness and charisma
of a treasured pal so dear

But I don't know how to capture
your presence ever strong
mere words cannot express,
you're the solo in my song

So I'll try to keep my head up
and look toward brighter days
ever mindful of shared moments
all your special little ways

Little Livi Ladybug
of beauty and sweetness rife
I love you Monkey Allen
silver lining in my life

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

From Uncle John

John spent so much time doing repetative things with Livi. Things that others might have gotten bored doing after a few minutes but not John. He was so good at pretending each time was the first time they did something (even if it was the 100th) and Livi loved him for it.

A Night That Will Never Be Forgotten

One of my favorite memories of Livi took place in the evening of Feb. 4th, 2007. I was over at James and Emily’s house to watch the Super Bowl, but could not turn down an opportunity to engage in recreation with Livi in her playroom underneath the stairs. It was only about 3 ft by 5 ft in dimension and had a forest wildlife scene painted on the walls and ceiling.

So there I am, sitting with my knees in by face and Livi is showing me all the animals she does not want me to disregard, when she hears my keys jangling in my pocket. She stops pointing at the walls and piers into my pocket. Yes, it is in fact the prize she is anticipating. Carefully she pulls them out. She knows full well from experience what these pieces of ground metal will do. Momma always jingles her keys near the ignition of her car before it starts. All Livi had to do to start her car was the same.

Once Livi has the keys out of my pocket, she goes over to her car, gets on (with a little help from myself) and jingles the keys… the car “starts” and she is off. If by off you mean moving one foot forward till she hits the closed door, then yes. That does not faze her. She continues to ride her car for about another 25 seconds and then gets off and carefully replaces the keys in my pocket. She then repeats this process again and again, with no less enthusiasm.

About one hour later, she still is having the time of her life. (That was the thing about spending time with Livi, it stood still. Whenever you were with her, time did not exist.) Then Livi replaces my keys into the pocket one more time. This time she puts them in the pocket that has the broken zipper. She tries to zip it closed but nothing happens. She is worried. If the pocket does not zip closed the keys could fall out and get lost. If that happened I would not be able to drive my car home. This she tries to express by pointing to the broken zipper and shaking her head. To calm her fears, I show her the other pocket, with the zipper that works. We then put the keys in that pocket and she resumes playing at ease, knowing my keys will not possibly fall out.

I had so much fun with Livi that night. Thank you James and Emily for letting me make more than two years worth of memories with Livi. -Uncle John