My car and I are breaking up

This has nothing to do with the every day life of Alivia...well it sort of does...

My car and I are over. I'm ending the relationship now. We are so done. Okay so maybe I'm not ending it but I am tired of it breaking down. It was the greatest car on the planet for 3 glorious years. No maintenance needed. And then the year 2006 started and it has broken down 4, count 'em 4 times. It's not ever April yet.

Memo to my car...quit it. I have been nothing but nice to you. I haven't wrecked, I try not to speed, no red lights run, we wash you (sometimes) and vacuum you (infrequently), you never run out of gas, your oil gets changed every 3000 miles. So whats the deal? Knock it off. I am the biggest fan of you and would love to continue to drive around together. But not if you are going to be all huffy with me. I will let you sit in the driveway and not wash you and ignore you (until I have to go to the grocery store) if this is the way you are going to act.

I would much rather pay more in car payments and have a car that will do what it is supposed to do (ie drive around) than be on a first name basis with the Triple A guy. But that's not what we can afford right now. So I'm going to have a heart to heart with my car and see if he can understand me and we can get on the same page. Wish me luck.

Last week

The big birthday has come and gone. It was a great time. The party went really well. Thanks to everyone who came. We loved having you. There were 27 adults, 8 kids who could run around and 5 babies. Here's the break down....
4 grandparents
5 uncles
1 aunt
2 cousins
2 bridesmaids from my wedding
1 jr. bridesmaid
2 kids I used to nanny
27 great friends who were willing to come to our house for a 1st birthday.
All in all a great time. I feel like I didn't talk to anyone but talked to everyone. And it went so very very fast. I love having parties.

On Sunday (the day after the big sha-bang) Livi and I packed up and went home with my parents for the week. It was a fast and good week. Time seems to be flying by the older I get. Some of the highlights of the Indiana week were...

Day trip to Greensburg
Time with Beth
Andy's visit
Playdate with Amanda and Benjamin
visiting Dad's office
Special dinners
and the week ended with a big birthday party for Alivia and my Dad (Pap-pap). My grandmother (Marmie), Uncle Pete, Aunt Maria and Aunt Lisa all came for the day. It was nice to get to see everyone. Alivia (as always) took a while to warm up to the "strangers". But she loved Lisa, especially, by the end. We got a chocolate fountain for the day. Everyone had fun dipping anything and everything in it. Isn't food so much better dipped in chocolate. Of course someone (James) feed some to Alivia when I wasn't in the room. She did okay with it. I mean she loved it and didn't get sick or anything. Anther chocolate lover in the making.

Well happy Monday. I need to finish unpacking and sorting clothes.

One year check-up

Today was supposed to be our 1 year check up for Liv but the doctor decided that because she's not officially 1 he couldn't give her the shots (why didn't we know this when we scheduled it?) Regardless it was a good thing we had an appointment because it turns out she has 2 ear aches! That explains the horrible mood she's been in lately. I feel so bad for her but it will be good for her to get some medicine.

Good news from the doctor though...she gained almost a pound in 6 weeks. That is amazing for her especially considering she hasn't even gained 10 pounds since she was born.

Oblivious

Here's my favorite DUH moment as a mom. I probably already shared this story but a month or so ago Livi was a mess. Crabby, sad, not eating, not sleeping, etc. I kept looking in her mouth for a tooth on the bottom because everyone told me that kids get to teeth on the bottom then two on the top. So I can't see a thing and I'm starting to think maybe she has an ear ache or something. I took her to the doctor (which she hates) and I say I think she has a ear ache and he is checking her out and he says "well she does have a tooth coming in on the top". DUH....silly mom. From now on I will search the entire mouth for teeth not just where she's "supposed" to get the next one.

The first

The first time Livi rolled over from back to front was a fun story. It was a Sunday. We were at church in the nursing mom's room and Livi was laying on the floor next to Anna Millen (who is only 2 weeks younger than Liv). She was trying to roll over and got almost over and Anna pushed her back. We all had a good laugh that they were very competative with each other and Anna wanted to be first.

Later that day we were at James' parents and all sitting around watching Livi (as is the norm) and all of a sudden she started to roll. And there was lots of almost screaming cause it was so exciting. Everyone was trying to to yell so they wouldn't scare her but also it was excited that her grandparents and uncles go to be there for a first.

Scary Memory

Okay so this isn't an all scary memory...but when she was first born she had really high thyroid levels. So we had to have them re-tested because there is often a spike after the birth but then things return to normal. The re-test was no fun at all. They had to prick her little foot. Thankfully my mom was there so I went out in the hall cause I couldn't stand the screaming. So we expected things to be normal after that.. but they weren't so our doctor ordered a full panel which ment more blood work and a trip to an endocrinologist at CHOP (Children's Hospital of Philly). So I was expecting a foot prick but it was a little IV in the arm and 5 baby vials of blood....lots of tears in that room (including the nurse).

The next day (or maybe 2 days later) we drove the Philly early in the morning to meet the dr. I was very scared because a high thyroid level can mean mental retardation and other scary stuff that I didn't want to think about. The doctor came in and right away said this is going to be a good visit. Livi has a high thyroid level but also a high binding protien. As far as I understand as long as both are high its okay its if you have an excess of one. I was just so thankful that nothing major was wrong. I got a quick lesson in being a mom that week.

words?!

So Livi is trying to say things. It is the cutest thing ever. One night as I was rocking her in the middle of the night I thought she was asleep and then I hear this little voice going "Tsk, Tsk". And now she has started saying Dada (not to anyone yet but we're working on it) and "dis" which sounds a bit like this and is what she says when she wants something (there is pointing that goes along with it) I love it. I can't even imagine what it will be like when she starts to actually talk. But I'm excited.


By the way...she only woke up 1 time last night. That has only happend about 4 other times and I can hardly believe it. Wonder if it will happen again?

Night time memories

Here are some of my most vivid memories of the night time since Livi was born..

1st. I remember the night that she was up for hours on end and I couldn't take it anymore so I just put her in her crib and walked away. It only took about a minute for me to calm down and the crying to seems sad to me again. So I walked back in and picked her up.

2nd. Another night when she was crying all night and she was still in our room. I was leaning on the side of her pack n play crying and James woke up and asked if I was okay and I said yea I'm fine. (through the sobs) luckily he didn't believe me and took care of her so I could sleep for a bit.

3rd. The night James woke up from a dead sleep, ran around the bed and started to try to grab Alivia from me...she wasn't there she was asleep in her bed but he had dreamed she was crying and freaked out.

4th. One night I was sitting up nursing and it was about the hundredth time she had woken up and James is peacefully snoring beside me and I just want to flick him in the head and wake him up (I resisted the urge... just barely)

5th. When we finally got her to go to bed without being rocked and we would walk up the stairs and she would put her head down on my shoulder and cuddle.

6th. Sometimes she doesn't want to go to bed so when we get to her room she points to the hallway, or James or anything that she thinks will mean she doesn't have to sleep.

Those are just a few of my favorite night time memories

Labor

Being pregnant was not too bad. I mean I'm not one of those women who feels amazing while she's pregnant but I'm also not completely miserable. Somewhere in the middle.

Labor was what I refered to as screaming agony my whole pregnancy. I knew it was coming and everyday creeping closer. I was scared to say the least. I just didn't want to feel the pain. (but who wants to feel pain) I wanted the epidural 2 months before my due date. Suprisingly the doctor didn't agree to that.

So on March 19th I woke up at 8 am and thought hmmmm...could this be labor!? I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't..more excited than anything. So I took a shower (they tell you to do that since you might not get one for a while) and James and I hung out to distract me. We went for a drive (saw Jamie and Lyndon in their yard) and ate some lunch. We called my parents and Rachel since they had to get on the road. Everyone started to show up around 5 ish I think. And we ordered pizza, put together the exersaucer, watched TV, walked in the back yard and timed contractions. At this time (7 or 8) I was thinking if this is it I'm golden. The whole day I was at 5 min but nothing was really happening. As the evening progressed though things started to move along. Around 10 or 11 I stopped being able to talk during contractions and they weren't so funny anymore. So we packed up and headed to the hospital.

I was nervous and excited and scared and happy and a million other things on the 15 min ride to the hospital. But most of all I thought that I was probably pretty far along and would be having a baby soon. Well I got to triage and they checked and I was only 1 centimeter...WHAT? After all that (14 hrs) only 1! They said that I could walk the halls for an hour and then they would check again...if I wasn't 3-4 then I had to go home. So I walked up and down the hall in my nightgown with James, Mom, Dad, Rachel, Cynthia, Bill, John, Chris and Will looking on or walking with me. After an hour I was 3-4 and got a room. By this time it was almost 2. So they called for the epidural cause it take and hour for them to get there.

My parents, Rachel and Cynthia found places to crash for the night (the waiting room, hallway and chapel). James snored on the pull out chair/bed in our room and I talked to the nurse and rested...I was just to excited to sleep.

The next morning around 9 the midwife came in and checked and I was almost 10 so she said that if I didn't feel like pushing yet they would let me wait an hour and then start. An hour went by and she checked. 10..Finally. I still felt nothing so she went to put on her gown. The second she stepped out of the room I just had to push so I told James to run and get her. He said she would be back in a minute and I said I don't have a minute. She ran back in and 26 min later out came our beautiful baby. I just remember the midwife saying "wow, its a moose head!" She was huge. My mom was so excited she ran to the door and started gesturing madly to my dad and Cynthia...10, 10. They couldn't figure out what she ment (10 minutes, 10 cm's, what?) so my dad came over and found out that she was 9 lbs 15 oz.

I will never forget the first moment I held that little girl. My heart grew and felt like it would burst. I loved her with everything I had in that moment. Its the only time I have ever experience that intense love for someone who has never said a word or done a thing for me. She was so chubby, red, crabby and cute. I love her so much.

2 weeks

Exactly 2 weeks from today my baby girl turns 1!! What happened to a year? It went by at light speed and I can't even believe she will be 1. Amazing. I remember when a year took forever. The older I get the faster it goes.

So I've decided since she is almost 1 I'm going to take the next 2 weeks and share memories that I love from this last year. On the surface not all appear great but they are all moments I treasure. I'm going to start at the very beginning but then I'll probably jump around.

As most of you know James and I had a hard time getting pregnant (because of me). It took a very long time and we finally ended up going to a great specialist named Dr. Filer. The first month that we went to him we did IUI (not going into details). Then we went to the beach with my family. We knew we had a blood test to see if we were pregnant looming so the beach was a mixture of fun with the fam and fear of the results. One night at the beach I woke up with severe cramps and freaked out. I woke up my mom and we cried because I thought there was no way I was pregnant and I was getting my period. The rest of the vacation wasn't so fun although my period never arrived. When we got home I drove to York to get a blood test and waited for the phone call. I was expecting not to be pregnant. Around 11 the nurse called with my results and said "well your results were positive". I was shocked. I said "wait... say that again" and she did and then I said "what does that mean?" and she said "you're pregnant". I mumbled "I think I'm crying" and she said "that's okay go ahead." Then she said "congratulations." I just hung up the phone and sat there crying, shocked and shaking. I have never been so happy in my life. This was something I had wanted so badly. Not just since I got married but my whole life I wanted to be a mom.

James knew that the phone call was coming at some point and we had talked about how we were going to have to deal with not being pregnant so when I called him he timidly answered the phone. He could tell I was crying right away. All I could say was "Hi daddy!" He just kept saying "are you serious?"

After James I called my mom. ("Hi Grandma") and my dad ("Hi Grandpa") then we started planning how we would tell James family (since we got to do it in person). That evening after James got home we went over to his parents house, but they weren't home. So we told John, Chris and Will. Then we just hung out. We tried to act casual when his parents got home but you could tell they were waiting to hear. Then James told them. Everyone one screamed. It was one of the most fun days I've ever had.

God has blessed us so richly. We have a home, a great marriage and a sweet baby. I am so undeserving.

By the way, Livi is feeling better. Thanks to everyone who prayed for her the last few days. She is getting back to her happy self again.

*Sigh*

Last night was the longest night we have ever had. Poor Alivia just couldn't sleep. She would fall asleep while I held her but the second I put her down she was awake and screaming again. She was up at least 5 times...I'm not totally sure they all started to blend together after a while. But thankfully its a weekend and James was able to get up with her this morning and I got 2 hours of sleep. Then all day today she has been sad. Most of the day she has cried and there is nothing we can do. She just doesn't feel good. I am just praying that soon she will start to feel better. I'm so glad that James is home to help. I'm not sure I could handle a day like today all by myself. I am so thankful for weekends. Gotta go get the crying baby

still sick

You know that a baby isn't feeling well when they take 4 naps in one day, don't want to get off your lap, and no toys are fun. It is the saddest thing. If you think of her please pray that my girl starts to feel better and that her tooth comes through. Thanks.

Friday

Friday's are another one of those days I love. Almost every Friday I get together with my friend April and her cute twins. We have so much fun together. Today we went to the mall with our other friend Leslie and her 2 kids. We looked like a train marching through the mall with their 2 double strollers and my single stroller. We were laughing about how giddy we are all were to be together and shopping. I love having girlfriends. I love that we all have kids and can understand each others lives. Thanks April and Leslie for a great day. I loved it. We must do it again very very soon.

Sad girl

Another tooth is on its way and now we have a cold. Poor baby. I am trying to figure out how to put pictures up because I captured the mood last night pretty well. I'll try again later. What am I doing wrong...anyone?