From Grande Aunt Lisa

Requiem For Our Livibug
I miss Livi. I love(d) Livi. Livi’s my grandniece. I’ve struggled for a couple weeks now, trying to find the right words that would memorialize her properly. Others have done it so eloquently. Every time I sit down to do it I get nauseous and my eyes well up so that I can’t see the screen. I don’t’ want to have to be writing these words in remembrance. I’d rather be reading her a book. My mother, Marmie, should be doing this. Her comments to all the blogs just blow me away. She expresses herself so well. She misses Livi. She love(d) Livi. Livi is her great granddaughter.
Every moment with Livi was a special memory. There weren’t nearly enough of them. I only had one goal every time I would visit that child. It was to make her smile. (The same was true of Emily, when she was a baby J) As has been told before, Livi had to be won over. She didn’t’ just warm up to anyone. It was a challenge for us Pittsburgh folk, because we didn’t get to see her on a regular basis. Every time was like a re-introduction. But the key was to get down on the floor and play with her toys. If you were creative enough, you would peak her curiosity and reel her in. I remember every visit to Dave and Gretchen’s in Indiana would entail the “entourage”, meaning anywhere that Livi went, we went. Usually we would all hang in the living room and Livi would be the center of attention. (I can’t remember any “adult” conversations in our family, once Livi came into it) A lot of the toys there were ones that Emily, Andrew and Aaron had when they were tots. I had no qualms about doing silly things with Livi and the toys, and my reward was her precious little smile.
I feel cheated that we won’t get to know her as she grows up. There are so many things that people wanted to do with her as she grew. What would her interests be? Would she be a brainiac, theatrical, musical, perhaps athletic? With the various talents that Emily and James have, there’s no doubt she would have been gifted. She was already a thoughtful and smart chicklet. You shoulda seen her doing "sign". I wanted to be her eccentric old “Aunt” who takes her for rides on her motorcycle and eats hot wings with her.
Now, Livi’s angelic face peers at me in every room of my house. There are beautifully framed pro shots that Emily and James had given as presents. There are tons of polaroids that I have taken and have cherished and shared with my friends and family. My laptop screensaver is a Livi montage. It makes me smile, it makes me weep. There are sticker posters in my office. These not only contain Elmo, monkeys and Snow White, but I have cut up some of the polaroids of Livi and interspersed her image with them. Too cute! She is indelible this way as she is in our hearts and now so many have her memory inked on their skin. Maybe a lot of people aren’t aware of this, but many in the Allen/Haughery clan have chosen this way to honor Livi - tattoos. I personally have my Livibug on my inner left forearm. This permanent tribute will initiate conversations for years to come about the sweet little girl that graced our lives for such a short, but profound time. Her legacy to us is so hard to put into words, it is an emotion that can only be described as L-O-V-E. The best tribute we can give to her is to keep her in our hearts. That is a given. It would be impossible for her not to be there.
I miss her. I love(d) her. She’s my grandniece - LIVI.
by grande aunt lisa

From Lyndon and Jamie

We remember the news when James and Emily announced in care group that Emily was pregnant. Over time Emily shared that she was having a baby girl. From the moment that I met Emily she talked honorably about being a mother and how excited she was to have a baby girl. I admired her strong desire to be a mother. Alivia was the first child that Lyndon could visibly see her hand or a small foot move across Emily’s stomach. One Saturday afternoon James was driving Emily around as she started to have contractions and stopped over our house on Front Street. We were excited to meet this girl who they had been waiting for. I remember it being shared at church that Alivia Rachel Haughery was born. After church we rushed over to the hospital to meet this little Alivia. I remember the smile on James’s face as he showed us Alivia. I remember holding Alivia soon after they arrived home and being amazed at her hands and tiny fingers. I remember her learning to hold onto furniture to move about the room. I remember how she listened to signing times during some dinners. We remember the times trying to hold Alivia, however she clung tightly to her parents. We remember going for walks with her and James and Emily at Long’s Park to feed the ducks. I remember going to market with Alivia and she ate the red Italian ice which turned into red lipstick for the rest of the morning. I remember how cute Alivia was when she would point at things and make you look at what she saw, it could be anything. I remember when she started to stand by herself with Emily close by during one summer party. She looked around to see if anyone was watching her. I was watching her. She was smiling and watching others watch her and was seemingly so proud. I remember going on walks down the halls at Hershey with Gigi and Emily. Alivia enjoyed going for a ride in her car. We remember how strong and brave Alivia was in the hospital stays, doctor visits, and through the transplant. We will treasure the memories that we have with Alivia. We will remember them. James and Emily you two have been parents who have laid down your lives to serve, care, and unconditionally love Alivia without reservations. This example has impacted our lives in ways your may never know. Alivia was privilege to have you two as her parents. We love you guys and miss Alivia. Love- Lyndon and Jamie

From my cousin Sarah

My memorial to the beautiful Livi Living hundreds of miles away from Livi meant that I did not get to enjoy nearly as much time with her as many of you who have been touched by her story. In her short life, I have seen Livi only a handful of times and I was never truly privileged to have entered her circle of trust. From what little time I did have with Livi, I remember two things the most. The first thing was that this child was so smart and determined. I remember the last time I saw her (in Indiana, a few weeks before her transplant) she had gotten a new doctor kit and performed exams on her animals again and again, each time making sure to go through all of the steps in the appropriate order. Livi always seemed so in tune with things, so perceptive, so impressive. I have the best polaroid from that day, of her standing by the couch in Gigi and Pa's living room... it's special to me because it has a big yellow blob in the middle from Livi bending while waiting for it to develop. The other thing I remember most about Livi was that she had this power to make everyone fall for her. Livi was the youngest guest at my wedding last summer and when we got the pictures back there were at least a half dozen of her. The photographer and everyone else there could not keep their eyes off of this adorable girl in her little white dress. Though Livi was never quick to open herself up to just anyone, everyone wanted to be near her. Emily's blog and how far it reached is proof that Livi was truly someone special. Livi had the power to change all of our lives in little ways. I didn't get to spend much time with Livi, but her passing made me realize just how important family is and how proud I am to be an Allen, my family is amazing. I was and still am amazed by the strength and courage that Emily and James and my entire family has shown. Having Emily as the oldest of our generation of Allens made her a role model for me my entire life and seeing her grow to become such a loving, giving, and strong mom and woman has only made me look up to her more. Seeing the love that Emily and James will always have for Livi makes me certain that I want to be a mom some day, especially knowing that I have Emily as a role model to look to. The ladybug that is now tattooed on my wrist will not only remind me of sweet Livi every single day, it also serves as a reminder that life is really too short to dwell on the small things that go wrong throughout my days and that it is really important to try and enjoy every moment in my life. I only got to know "the cutest girl around" a little bit, but she touched me every day of her life and will continue to affect me for the rest of mine. Love,Cousin Sarah

From Carol

I only had the pleasure of knowing precious Livi for five months – while she was in the hospital. However, in those five short months, I absolutely fell in love with this charming, funny, sweet, adorable little girl (and her family!) How could I not? I took care of Livi nearly every day I worked, and she very quickly became my favorite patient on the floor (heck, my favorite patient of all time). I have many, many memories of Livi and if I put them all in this tribute, it would be five pages long, so I’ll talk about some of my favorites.

I loved watching that little girl being pushed around the ENTIRE hospitalin her pink car by her wonderful family while they talked to her, sang to her, and in general made her happy. She loved that little pink car covered in duct tape, and if the person pushing her (usually Pa and Gigi, while Emily got a little break) dared to stop pushing to, I don’t know, talk to someone (more often than not, me) in the hallway, she would say “GO!” and point her chubby little adorable finger forward. And she would keep saying “GO! GO! GO!” until they started pushing again.

One of my favorite parts of the night was when we would do her meds and put together her TPN (IV nutrition) tubing. Livi was the best little helper. She would sit on the bed or in Emily’s lap, and as I got garbage from the med syringes or the tubing, I would hand it to her and she would say “gahbage” (like a New Yorker – no “r”) and put it in the garbage bin. I find myself saying it now, not even thinking about it, and when people say “why do you say garbage like a New Yorker?” and I say “not like a New Yorker – like Livi!”

Just an example of how loved that little girl was (and is!!)…about a month or so into their stay here, Emily mentioned once or twice in her blog that Livi loved stickers. Before you knew it, that girl had more stickers than you would believe, and boy did she use them. Every day she would use stickers, usually making a sticker picture for someone she loved (I am the VERY proud owner of three!). She always had very specific designs in mind for each person, and if you would suggest a sticker outside the design, she would say “no,” put her hand up, and shake her head. One night, she was making something using Elmo stickers, and she RAN OUT of Elmo stickers. When Emily and I told her that were no more Elmo stickers, she just said “Pa…Elmo…” Like, duh, guys…call Pa, he’ll get more Elmo stickers. At one in the morning. The thing is, if we had called him to get more stickers, he would have. That man would move heaven and earth to make that little girl happy. A love like Pa had for Livi I have never seen on this earth. Every day, Pa, Gigi, Emily and James, along with the entire family, were a living example to me of perfect love, and that has remained with me even now.

I can’t even tell you how many hours I spent in her room playing with her, talking to her and loving her. She was the first person I went to see every day when I came to work. I loved walking into the room and hearing “it’s Cayrol!!!!!” (that’s how she said it…CAYrol). I have so many wonderful, cute, funny memories of Alivia that I feel that the few I mentioned here don’t do her justice.

In the very short time I knew Alivia, she (and her amazing, wonderful, loving family) affected me more deeply than any family I have ever cared for. I can not possibly put into words how much I love that little girl and her family. God could not have chosen a better set of parents than Emily and James for Livi to belong to for her short time with us. Livi was a very special little girl, sent to Earth for a reason. She touched every single person she came in contact with in some way or another, and she made the most of her little time. She was so full of life and so full of love, no matter how sick she was. She was a very brave little girl, and suffered more than any human should have to, but remained a fighter through it all. I am honored that I was able to be a part of her life and, like Manda said, feel privileged that I was there when her time on Earth came to a close. She could not have gone home to Jesus in a more peaceful way or more surrounded by love.

I think about Livi on a daily (usually many times daily) basis – she is never far from my thoughts. I miss her tremendously, but am comforted in knowing that she passed on knowing that she was so so loved. Livi will never know loneliness and she will NEVER know hate. That baby girl (BIG GIRL! – she was two (tyoo), after all) has never known and will never know anything less than absolute love. What a lucky, blessed girl.

Walking for a cure

Today instead of a tribute I'm going to let you all know about a way you can make a tribute to Alivia. Coming up in September there are two different walks that will raise money. The first is called Light the Night and will be held on September 20th. It raises money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. The second is the 4 Miles for 4 Diamonds walk-a-thon being held on September 23rd. Please consider doing one or both of these walks in honor of Alivia. What a great thing to share with your child.

From Holly

Here are Holly and Livi at our last visit to clinic before we went into the hospital for transplant. Livi had a long day and for once didn't want her picture taken. But this in no way represents how she felt about Holly. She loved Holly like Holly loved her.

My favorite Livi memory.... I don't know that I have one special memory of Alivia but rather a collection. Sweet Livi was a patient near and dear to my heart. I looked forward to every clinic visit that she (and her "entourage") made. I enjoyed the opportunity to care for and know the Livi clan. I first got to know Livi by making sure she had stickers after the "sticking" was done. I enjoyed trying to get her to smile and talk with us, even if it was signing. I enjoyed hearing the stories Emily would tell of the new things that Livi had done & learned. I enjoyed the "happy & pink steroid" Livi. I enjoyed the "playing possum" Livi. I could go on & on, I feel blessed to have known & care for Livi...I miss Livi ,Emily and "the clan". They were a truly special family that touched my heart and I will always remember.

a big Livi fan, nurse Holly from clinic

From Melissa

"When I first started working with Dr. Powell, I couldn't wait to get to know Alivia Haughery because I had heard so many wonderful things about her, and her family! I loved waiting on Thursdays for Livi to come into clinic, followed by her faithful family! She was always dressed so beautifully in her dresses, and her smiling face lit up the entire room! Livi always had stickers with her, and made her little stop at the toy chest after her port was accessed! No matter what Livi had to have done, she was always this bright, beautiful, blond baby girl whose smile made my day! Livi and her family were one of the most amazing families I have ever been lucky enough to care for. Emily's stories about Livi's new adventures were always fun to hear about, and I loved seeing the pictures of Livi during transplant that Emily had captured on camera! Most of all, I enjoyed getting to know Livi and her family. They were an inspiration to me as a caregiver, and my life is richer because of knowing Livi and her family." Love, Nurse Melissa Roslevege

From Sonya L.

One of my favorite memories with Livi was in the hospital. Jackson had given her some Barbi want-a-be's from the dollar store and they came with some less then appropriate outfits that you could change along with some accessories like shoes and scarves. Livi wanted to make new outfits for them but she had a little trouble getting the tiny shirts and pants on and off, so I was helping her. I would purposely put together outfits that didn't match and she was so funny about it. She just looked at me like I was crazy and then looked back down at what she was holding and shook her head as she said "no" with a sigh. But then when I held up something that did match she would say "mmm...yeah". Her facial expressions were priceless, so grown up! We went on and on like that for a half hour or so until it was time for stickers...which she was fully capable of handling herself and no longer needed my assistance.

From April S.

Alivia and her two best friend Samual and Grace who's Mommy wrote this tribute.

Sweet Alivia,
I remember the day you were born so clearly. I couldn't wait to get to the hospital to see you. You were a miracle. You were so round and so cute right from the start. Your Dad was holding you so proudly. You had an opinon right from the beginning....there was no way you were taking that pacifier!
My memories of you are of busy days together whether it was going for long walks, shopping,swimming or playing together at home. You loved to be out and about. You always had an attention to detail in your play. Whether it was how the ponies' hair was brushed or seperating all of the pretend food into piles. I remember being amazed at how you could pick up the tiniest object with that amazing pincer grasp you had so early. You always seemed older than you actually were. Especially when you would babble these long sentences moving your head and hands to emphasis your point. So cute.
I will treasure those times...those memories of a simple day playing together. You will always be the bravest and stongest girl that I know. To be able to endure so much and be so happy still amazes me. I still can't wrap my mind around that you are gone forever. Samuel and Grace can't either. They miss their playmate...their friend.
You will always hold a special place in all of our hearts.
We love you,
April

By Nurse Manda

When asked to write this memorial, I was absolutely thrilled. I was so excited to get everything I wanted to say about Livi down on paper. Then I started writing and the task became so daunting. How would I ever be able to possibly express how much I love her and how, in four short months, she changed my life? Would my words be good enough for her? It certainly wasn’t a struggle to find things to write about her because I have hundreds of memories. The memories are so vivid that I can find myself right back in room 7260.
Some people would never believe that you could fall in love with someone and have them change your life to the extent that Livi changed mine. I may not have truly understood it either, but then I met Livi. Livi was just the most incredible, bright, funny, smart, lovely little girl. She was also so very brave. No child should have to endure the things that Livi went through, but she remained happy and so full of love every day.
I had the wonderful honor of being one of Livi’s nurses over the long four months that she spent in the hospital for transplant. Every morning I would go in her room to assess her and it always ended up that I stood beside her crib watching her sleep. Those are some of my most precious memories. I would watch the rise and fall of her adorable belly, the smile that always seemed to be on her face, and the way she always held her “friends” so close to her as she slept. I would stand there forever just brushing her hair from her forehead, smiling, because I knew how truly blessed I was to be a part of her life.
Evening was delightful for me because it meant bath time! There was nothing I loved more that letting Livi help me unhook all of her tubies, and then she would put on her little visor and get in the tub. I loved this so much because it meant that my part was coming up! As soon as she finished, I would be waiting with one of her bath towels, and I would get to snuggle her and keep her warm while Emily found the perfect pajamas for that night. Every second that I got to hold her was such a special treat.
Days were long and so full of things to do and memories to be made. There was dancing, CinderElmo, Barbies, stickers and, of course, teasing Gigi! I was always so happy being in Livi’s room. Spending time with her was such a joy and being treated as part of the family was so special. Even getting Livi’s blood pressure was fun because, many times, she would hold my hand until it was over. Who wouldn’t love that?! I will never forget the day she learned how to say my name. She was trying so hard and was so close, and then I started to leave the room and she just blurted it out! We were all so excited, and I was so proud. Soon, I went on vacation and she didn’t get to see me for quite a few days. When I got back, Emily told me that Livi had been watching TV and she started squealing and saying “Manda!” Emily told me that Cameron Diaz had been on TV and Livi saw the blonde and thought it was me! My name quickly turned into Manda Blue because of my love of the color and Livi started picking out only the blue M&Ms and eating those! Silly girl!
There are hundreds of stories and memories and things to say about Livi that are precious mementos that I get to hold onto. I was honored to be a part of her treatment from the beginning and I was privileged to be there when her journey with us was over. I am grateful every day for each second that I spent with her. I am a better person because of her and my life will, most certainly, never be the same. I will never have another Livi, and I will never again have a second family like I have in hers. Thei r intense love and unshakable faith are things that I will always admire. I will always remember Livi. She will never fade because her spirit was always so vibrant, and the impact that she has had on so many lives will be her legacy. The love that she had was a direct reflection of the incredible family that she was born into and they are people that I look up to every day. Livi was so brave and so strong for so long. I am comforted that she did not lose her battle because she changed and affected so many lives. I am saddened because the sun doesn’t shine as bright without her. I am determined to not let her fight be forgotten. You are in my heart every second, Livi Lou…I love you…

From Leslie Y.

Livi with some of her best friends, including Eden and Aksel who's mommy wrote this tribute.


Since the day Livi died I have tried to think of how I would remember her short life. How would I keep her memory alive to my children? I thought of times in the pool, lunches out, play dates at the park, stroller rides through the mall and my children who just couldn't seem to keep their hands off of her. And, as I recall these memories of Livi I guess I try to put myself in her shoes. What did she experience in her short little life?

That is when the tears start. She went through more than most adults do in a lifetime. She was a fighter. She was tough. And most of all...she was LOVED! The very thing that most adults long for, search for and work toward in their allotted 70+ years; Livi experienced lavishly in her brief two. Emily, your child knew without one shadow of a doubt that you loved her. She was covered by you 24 hours a day. She was never lonely. She was always cared for excellently. James you could tell that she was the apple of your eye by the way you lit up when you looked at her. And, even after long hard days at work, you went to her without complaint. And, she was lavished with love by grandparents that all but dropped their lives to be by her side throughout those tumultuous 4 1/2 months. And, friends.....she had walls of pictures and drawings and posters to remind her that she was never far from the hearts, minds and prayers of hundreds. Livi was LOVED.

So, that is my tribute, memorial; a recognition of the grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who gave so many the ability to love so much and a little girl who was able to experience it all in only 2 years.

Love, Les

From Angie S.

Here is a picture of Livi and her friend (and mine) Ang. Livi is saying "cheese". This picture was taken about a week before we entered the hospital.


Precious Livi~
I have so many memories with you. Starting on the day that you were born. It was a Sunday, & after the message was preached, the pastors announced that “James & Emily just had a baby girl”. I remember tears streamed down my face because your conception was a miracle& in that moment of hearing about your “arrival”-God touched my heart with His faithfulness.
Even when you were a small baby, you had opinions about who was holding you. Your mom would try to hand you to me in the most inconspicuous ways so that you wouldn’t cry. I was always looking for these moments! We would often go out for lunch or shopping and I was always amazed by you. You did SO good in public. (& your mom did so good at keeping you entertained) But, it always felt like the “3 of us”. You interacted with us & had so much personality way before you could even talk. You stole my heart with your precious sign language too!
I had fun times with you watching fire works at Longs Park & swimming at the pool. I have pool pictures of you with your cool sunglasses & big floppy hat. You & I loved playing with my cat (even though your mom hates cats & tried not to touch it.)
The memories of visiting you at Hershey are sweet to me too. I usually couldn’t come home without a picture or a painting drawn very meticulously by you. I was always amazed at your strength when you were sick. You were an example to me because even if you were in pain or uncomfortable or not keeping your food down, you just proceeded to play and acted like it didn’t phase you!
There are days when it’s still hard for me to comprehend that you aren’t here, but now you aren’t uncomfortable or sick anymore. For that I am so thankful. And I am also very thankful for all of the joys you shared with me and the memories that I will always carry in my heart. I luv you Livi!

Love, Ang

By Steve Murphy.

Baby Wivvy
Each night for so long our daughter Lydia has prayed for Ian, for another friend of hers (Ainsley), and for "Baby Wivvy." If we missed one of them, she insisted that we pray for them. Sadly, Alivia passed away this afternoon.

Until our experience with Ian, I couldn't have understood the sadness her parents and grandparents and other family members must feel right now. But, the memories of the sadness we felt those first couple days following his accident haven't faded. We thought we had lost him, and we thought it was only a matter of moments before the doctor came in with the news of Ian's departure into heaven. No analogy can capture the intensity of the sadness; no words can express it.

When I got the news this afternooon when I got home from work, I looked straight in Ian's face and told him again that I loved him. I told him how much I wanted him back.

We're all praying for Baby Wivvy's parents and grandparents and family now. I'm praying that they would find rest in the only One who can comfort them.

From our great friend Andy L.

One of my favorite Livi memories was the night you, James, John, William, Sonya, and I all went to Character's for your birthday. Livi was on some steroid that made her hungry and she ate at least 9 or 10 tubes of Blues Clues yogurt. She was so happy and smiley that night too. There wasn't one time I looked at her that evening that she wasn't smiling. That's the Livi I always remember when I think of her. All smiles, half covered in yogurt, and making the sign-language gesture for "more".

From Jess S.

Jess wrote this on her blog shortly after Alivia died. She is the mother of Nyah (who is in the photo with Livi and who Livi was in love with. She called her NyNy) and the wife of Neil (who we've both been friends with since we were kids) and my great friend.


For those of you who may not know, some very good friends of ours had their precious baby girl pass away this past friday (july 6th) after a long battle with Luekemia. She was two years old and super cute! We only wish we could have had more visits with the Haughery family. Thank you for everyone who has been praying for James and Emily and Alivia when most of you didnt even know who they were. They are trusting in the Lord now that their baby girl is in a better place and its such a blessing to see how James is taking care of Emily and really being a strength for her through this very hard time. I really commend them for their faith through out this whole process and the way that they unconditionally loved Livi through all the hardest times imagineable. Please continue to pray for them, that God would overwhelm them with a peace and that they would be cared for by family and friends.

By Nora (who many Livi's quilt)

Dear Alivia,
I remember the night I met your mom at Indiana University of Pennsylvania when I was fourteen and trying to be as cool as her. I remember your dad at ten running around shirtless with the Walker boys playing football in the rain. I remember your parents wedding and how cold it was that October day. And I remember what chair I sat in the day your mom called me from the hospital to tell me that you were born. I remember your sweet pudgy feet and hands at my bridal shower when you came with your Mom. I remember all the joy your little laughs brought me as I read about your antics across the distance. I remember how I prayed for you as I stitched your quilt together. I will remember your little life and the way it touches so many even through you were suffering. We love you Livi and will miss you dearly.
Alivia Rachel Haughery went to be with the Lord on Friday, July 6th, 2007.

Tributes

I've decided to post some of the things others have said about Alivia since she died. Many of our friends have blogs and wrote something the day after and others have shared amazing things at her memorial or funeral. I have asked some people if I could post them on my blog. Starting now and going for the next week or so I hope to post what my friends/family share with me.


Here is what my friend Christi wrote on her blog. Christi and I went to high school together and lost touch after graduation but since have gotten in touch again. Thanks for your words Christi.


I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine, He said ...

For you to love while she lives ... and mourn for when she's dead. It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three, but will you, till I call her back, take care of her for me? She'll bring her charms to gladden you. And shall her stay be brief, you'll have her lovely memories as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise she will stay, since all from Earth return. But there are lessons, taught down there, I want this child to learn. I've looked the wide world over in search for teachers true, And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, I have selected you.

Now ... will you give her all your love ... nor think the labor in vain? Nor ... hate me when I come to call ... to take her back again?

I fancied that I heard you say ... “Dear Lord, it will be done! For all the joy Your Child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run. We'll shelter her with tenderness. We'll love her while we may, And for the happiness we've known ... forever grateful stay.

“But shall the angels call for her much sooner than we've planned, We'll brave the bitter grief that comes ... and try to understand.”*unknown author

I will spend the rest of my life striving to give my children everything that Alivia's parents managed to provide to her in just over 2 years. There are many thing in this world I struggle to make sense of and this has been added to the list...

Sweet peace, sweet Livi.